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#233981 - 06/27/08 04:18 AM Re: Parents response - may trigger [Re: NWcats]
NWcats Offline

Registered: 12/19/06
Posts: 70
Loc: Pacific Northwest
Hi guys,
Well I thought I should end the loop on this. Here's the letter I sent tonight to my folks. After praying about this a lot, I settled on this approach suggested by a good friend.
I hope for the best with this, but I'm not convinced it will be received with anything but anger.
Peace, Jackson

Dear Mom and Dad,

Itís taken me some time to respond to you. My hope is to respond from a position of love and not anger.

I can only begin to imagine how difficult it is for you to be confronted with an impossible choice. If you accept Ben's version of our childhood events, then you must believe that I am malevolent and untruthful. If you accept my version of the truth, you would have to believe things of Ben that are even worse.

Now, I am not asking you to take sides or choose between Ben and me. Rather I ask you to suspend judgment and open yourselves to the possibility of an independent relationship with each of us, understanding that at this point in time, Ben and I cannot have a shared relationship with you.

In your letter, you reiterated an expression of unconditional love for me. I want you to know that I love the two of you unconditionally, as well.

I care about you and your health and wellbeing and do not wish to be out of communication and contact with you. This last year has been difficult for all of us, but I am committed to working with you toward reconciliation and I hope and pray that both of you will agree to do the same.

With love,


*** WOR Alumni Sequoia March 2008 ***
*** Alta Advanced Weekend September 2008 ***
Ask me about both!

#233988 - 06/27/08 05:13 AM Re: Parents response - may trigger [Re: NWcats]
Brian Offline
Moderator Emeritus
Registered: 05/03/01
Posts: 1563
Loc: Upstate NY

You took the high road. That's a very good letter. It allows them maintain relationships with both of their sons if they choose. I don't think they could ask any more of you.


Recovery is Possible!

#233992 - 06/27/08 06:31 AM Re: Parents response - may trigger [Re: Brian]
frost Offline

Registered: 03/15/07
Posts: 1377
Loc: Eh?

I think that your letter shows a level of sophisticated personal growth and understanding. I can only hope that the outcome brought on by this letter is of similar understanding, love and commitment as you have shown.

For some reason my entire living room smells like a bounce dryer sheet. I'm not sure why.



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