i am turning 40 on friday
my therapist is on vacation ahhhhhhhhhh lol
but it is making me face a lot of questions directly
like who am i? looks to the past too ---
- i mean 40 is powerful - 2 more days of my 30s
i am anxious and have the feeling of falling apart inside
and though i took a long walk yesterday - and was guided by
well wishers to embrace it - and just go with it!
i resolved to do so - but today the anxiety came back
and i think there's a number of issues....
shouldn't i be an adult by now? shouldn't i be self sufficient
and in some strange way - shouldn't i not need to 'let it all out'
maybe the fallacy of the "adult life" in my head is that - though i have been an adult for a while now -
there's nothing hidden here. it's just the same...you have your troubles just the same - and feel a goof at times - just the same - and hapless - and insecure - and hopless - and yeah confident too. and strong and smart - and laughs - lots of them
it's just another day.
i can't believe it me! 40. LOL
i am still 39 for the next two days...
i'll enjoy that.