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#231774 - 06/19/08 04:03 AM what do you fear the most?
Sans Logos Offline

Registered: 05/31/03
Posts: 5796
Loc: in my own world in pittsburgh,...
i fear rejection the most. after several years of abuse, my older brother perp one day, simply dismissed the years of sexual initiation; that twas the ultimate rejection for me, who had, i am ashamed to admit, come to look forward to his attention. i was flattered by it. after closing the door, he died and left me alone to deal with his usage of me.

rejection defeats me and paralyzes me, and anything that vaguely resembles it disarms me to the point where it steals my power to defend myself.


Ron Schulz, MSPC, NCC

#231777 - 06/19/08 04:14 AM Re: what do you fear the most? [Re: Sans Logos]
testingWaters Offline

Registered: 07/19/06
Posts: 508
a stupid chintzy puppet of the devil that my neighbor owned when i was a little boy. (see my new thread in the members section).

oh, and rejection too....

#231830 - 06/19/08 02:19 PM Re: what do you fear the most? [Re: testingWaters]
MarkK Offline

Registered: 04/02/07
Posts: 2653
Loc: Denver, CO
rejection is high - but being purposely humiliated and shamed ... for me that's the big one.


PS - GOOD topic choice, Ron.

#231835 - 06/19/08 02:39 PM Re: what do you fear the most? [Re: MarkK]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
1. The big one for me was fear of not being believed. That one was drilled into me by the abuser, of course.

2. I guess there is one that still troubles me, and that would be fear of returning to drugs, even though I have been clean nearly 33 years. And yeah, I guess being shamed by others for the things I was willing to do for the sake of drugs back then. Long time ago, but it still eats at me somehow.

Good thread. We have to talk about this stuff otherwise it will continue to influence us.

Much love,

Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

#231848 - 06/19/08 03:25 PM Re: what do you fear the most? [Re: roadrunner]
mogigo Offline

Registered: 04/25/07
Posts: 1331
Loc: Colorado
That my assault was nothing to complain about. That being raped by a woman was something I should be happy about.

MS set me straight

Stay strong


#231858 - 06/19/08 03:45 PM Re: what do you fear the most? [Re: roadrunner]
michael banks Offline

Registered: 06/12/08
Posts: 1755
Loc: Mojave Desert, Ca
1. of being loved
2. of being not LOVED.
The first equaled abuse and the second loniliness. I fear the fRist one more.



Edited by michael banks (06/19/08 03:46 PM)
To own one's shadow is the highest moral act of a human.
-Robert Johnson-

"IT ought never be forgotten that the past is the parent of the future" John C. Calhoun

WOR Alumni Sequoia 2009

#231866 - 06/19/08 04:05 PM Re: what do you fear the most? [Re: michael banks]
Justintime1 Offline

Registered: 06/19/08
Posts: 16
abandonment and not being believed

#231872 - 06/19/08 04:24 PM Re: what do you fear the most? [Re: Justintime1]
Stephen_5 Offline
BoD Emeritus
Registered: 09/12/00
Posts: 667
Loc: Northern California Foothills
I used to fear rejection. I never felt like I was good enough in any thing that I did so I overcompensated; I had to do everything perfectly or I was a failure.

I have much more compassion for myself that I only had for others before. I'm only human, I will make mistakes. Hopefully I will learn from them and move forward.

I want to stay as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all kinds of things you can't see from the center.
Kurt Vonnegut (1922-2007)

#231874 - 06/19/08 04:25 PM Re: what do you fear the most? [Re: Justintime1]
charles law Offline

Registered: 06/04/08
Posts: 28
Loc: perth australia
fear that no one believe me
fear of rejection is my biggest
fear of being laughted at that i am not a strong man
fear not ever finding love and fulfillment in life
fear not being able to work through all this stuff
fear of living and dying.

#231959 - 06/19/08 11:01 PM Re: what do you fear the most? [Re: roadrunner]
jcf1957 Offline

Registered: 09/11/07
Posts: 192
Loc: North Of The 49th Parallel
Never finding peace from a painful past that forever haunts me.

No affliction nor temptation, no guilt nor power of sin, no wounded spirit nor terrified conscious should induce us to despair comfort from God.

Today well lived...makes every tomorrow a vision of Hope.

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