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#231231 - 06/16/08 03:32 AM OK so this sucks.....
istrong Offline

Registered: 03/20/07
Posts: 79
Loc: CT
I always thought i was just a strong guy, i've allways dealt with all this SA stuff by my self, with some help from y'all.
Well saturday night I met all of this girl's friends, at a party. When we talked again today we talked about like how i was not doin good at the party. I wasnt and she realised how 'emotionally unstable', i was, and said that we need to like put every thing on pause so i can really start healing (wich i havent ever really started). I completly agree, Im not upset about her and I. WHAT I am like upset about is the fact that my abuse really has affected my life. For the most part its been alot of little shit, like not liking crowds or nightmares, stuff that people wouldnt notice and I could compenstate for. But this I mean fuck this is the first like huge event of my SA screwing stuff up. Im having trouble dealing with the fact of how messed up i am. it feels like im trying to ride a unicycle up a hill backwards with a pot on my head, trying to jugle oranges and screaming 'why me why me why me!?'

"Go then, there are other worlds than these"
-John 'Jake' Chambers

I'd rather be above the grass than below it.

#231242 - 06/16/08 06:12 AM Re: OK so this sucks..... [Re: istrong]
Brian Offline
Moderator Emeritus
Registered: 05/03/01
Posts: 1563
Loc: Upstate NY

You are lucky that you have good friends that can be honest with you. Many people go through their entire lives spending all their energy trying to fool everyone else into believing that they don't have any problems. I can personally attest that this is a losing proposition.

Unfortunately, this SA stuff does not go away on it's own; it takes a lot of hard work but it's well worth the effort! As I'm sure you already know, the next step is to find a therapist (who specializes in CSA) that you are comfortable with. Sure, you can wait until next month, next year or even 30 years from now, but it's still going to be there. Today is the perfect day to start taking care of yourself and your future!


Recovery is Possible!

#231256 - 06/16/08 10:26 AM Re: OK so this sucks..... [Re: Brian]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA

That's the big problem with the effects of CSA; we don't even notice how badly we are being affected until we reach some sort of crisis stage. As Brian says, it's actually a blessing that you have some friends who were willing to let you know what they are seeing.

The important thing to bear in mind, I think, is that even when you thought you just had a few minor issues to contend with the really big ones were probably there as well, but simmering along beneath the surface. The best thing for you, as for all the rest of us, is to commit to therapy as soon as you can. It really does make a huge difference.

Much love,

Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)


Moderator:  ModTeam, TJ jeff 

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