Newest Members
jake1985, cactus8, Neil Benesh, blazzeee, mmm coffee
13531 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
isol8er (46), omrfople (41), zookeeper (54)
Who's Online
2 registered (usmc97, Rich1967), 63 Guests and 4 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
13,531 Registered Members
75 Forums
70,386 Topics
491,551 Posts

Most users ever online: 418 @ 07/02/12 11:29 AM
Topic Options
#229466 - 06/07/08 01:31 PM looking for a guy on the other side
awakening Offline

Registered: 01/01/08
Posts: 342

Edited by awakening (10/01/08 12:05 PM)

#229543 - 06/07/08 10:18 PM Re: looking for a guy on the other side [Re: awakening]
pufferfish Offline

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6875
Loc: USA

That's a big order. We all need that!

I am certainly not the epitome. I have a long way to go.

Have you read the book Twice Adopted by Michael Reagan?

Puffer edited to get the book right

Edited by pufferfish (06/07/08 10:21 PM)

#229610 - 06/08/08 03:37 AM Re: looking for a guy on the other side [Re: pufferfish]
mogigo Offline

Registered: 04/25/07
Posts: 1331
Loc: Colorado
Just thought I'd send some cheesy, cliched, sentimental support you're way

Just kidding with you, hope you smiled my friend

Stay strong, L


#229624 - 06/08/08 04:28 AM Re: looking for a guy on the other side [Re: awakening]
pufferfish Offline

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6875
Loc: USA

#229652 - 06/08/08 09:54 AM Re: looking for a guy on the other side [Re: awakening]
Sans Logos Offline

Registered: 05/31/03
Posts: 5796
Loc: in my own world in pittsburgh,...
hi awakening, i hope my response does not seem to diminish the gravity of your plea in any way, but upon reading your post, i immediately felt impelled to share this prayer of thomas merton. i feel very grateful for all the strides i have made in my recovery 'process', but even though i have transcended the victimization itself [and lived to find the 'focus' you speak of] i have found personally that on the other side of the green pasture of 'focus' lie even greater challenges! i know not very hopeful, but what i have found most valuable is to have been delivered from the need to keep trying to get 'somewhere', and learn to live in the desert of my 'here and now' where both joy and shadow meet, and peaceably co-exist. i want to think a bit more about what you have asked and perhaps post something to satisfy your request, but in the meantime, i hope you find some respite in thomas' prayer:

my lord god, i have no idea where i am going. i do not see the road ahead of me. i cannot know for certain where it will end. nor do i really know myself, and the fact that i think i am following your will does not mean that i am actually doing so. but i believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. and i hope i have that desire in all that i am doing. i hope that i will never do anything apart from that desire. and i know that if i do this you will lead me by the right road, though i may know nothing about it. therefore i will trust you always though i may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. i will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.

peace, bro and keep the faith, you're doing it right

Ron Schulz, MSPC, NCC

#229670 - 06/08/08 12:26 PM Re: looking for a guy on the other side [Re: Sans Logos]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA

I hope this doesn't sound sentimental. I can't say I am "on the other side", because that would sound like recovery is a goal, i.e. a task where we get to say, okay, all done now.

I'm not sure that's true. I see recovery more as a path, as an attitude that allows me to move forward together with other guys, but each at our own pace and in our own way.

I also wonder about recovery as having an "end", simply because we are all growing and learning all the time anyway. For survivors the task is of course more complicated. I can say that I have disposed of most of my feelings of shame, guilt and worthlessness, but once I had done that I discovered - to my dismay - that I now had to set something else up in their place. What would that be? I had no idea? So back to the T ... sigh.

What I'm saying is that from wherever it is that I am I can see that I am still on the path and that as I move forward I face new challenges that I had never seen or anticipated before.

The big difference is that I no longer face them with fear and dread. I can recover from a setback in an hour or a day rather than a month or half a year. I feel at peace with being Larry ... most times! ;\) I am happy, or at least achieving more of that feeling than before. Basically, I know I can make it.

I know that isn't as concrete as you would like. I wish it were more concrete too, but so far as I can see it isn't. We are dealing with old emotions and feelings, bro, and those are difficult to nail down or predict as to their effects on us. And there is so much of the individual to consider here too. What triggers the hell out of me may not bother you at all.

Much love,

Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

#229672 - 06/08/08 12:31 PM Re: looking for a guy on the other side [Re: Sans Logos]
Hourglass52 Offline

Registered: 04/16/08
Posts: 59
Loc: New York
I don't know of any particular time but, I just said fuck this, and realised I am 48 years old, and put the bullshit in the past.
I learned who I am now!! and dealt with the abused child as it came up.
There isn't one damn thing that can be accomplished by living in the past. IT'S June 2008 I am 52 years old now, and I control all aspects of my life.
The past is just the past, and there isn't one thing I can do to change it. The only place there is happiness is here and now, and in the future.
PM me, and I will see if I can help.

" This above all: To thine own self be true" (William Shakespeare).


Moderator:  ModTeam, TJ jeff 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.