Originally Posted By: tazrad
To make matters worst. She went to say that the CSA is not the root of my problem. The problem that I have led to the CSA. If you understand that, you are smarter than I am.

So, here I am again not knowing what to do. I am just piss that I wasted a month. Just to find out that she does not have time for me. I knew that on the first call.

So, I will wait for the doctors to get together for happy hour. And decided who is going to see me. Oh wait it is just another month. With my luck, that T wont want to see me.

I am still pissed.

First off, it sounds like your ex-T has issues herself and may be unqualified for her position. We all had vulnerabilities and problems before we were sexually abused. No matter how old we were. However, CSA made our life much harder and dealing with it is nothing short of appropriate. She was wrong for using the generalized statement of saying your problems caused your CSA. Sounds a bit ludicrous to me.

In the past, I viewed my CSA as the center of all of my problems. I thought that every fault I had, every issue, every problem was based on the fact that I suffered from CSA. Almost as if, I would have been perfect if it hadn't happened.

The truth is, no one is perfect. Everyone has their flaws, regardless of whether or not they've had to face CSA. We are not the only ones that have had to feel anger, sadness, and shame. We may have felt much more of it than others but, that can be changed. Not the past, but how we live our present day life. Coming from someone who has reaped the benefits of recovery, and has been there and bought the T-shirt, life does get much much better. You can do it and you will if you keep on believing in yourself.

Truth is the very reason we strive to live. It surrounds and resides within us. Accepting the truths we already know and seeking out those we do not is a direct path to inner balance and joy. For life is not a means to an end, but a journey. Life comes and goes but the truth will always live on.