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#227219 - 05/28/08 01:50 AM Re: Just my Luck, F@cking T Quit [Re: sabata]
Pete2004 Offline

Registered: 08/06/04
Posts: 958
Loc: North Carolina

I agree with JustScott and sabata... Saying that your problem lead to the CSA puts the blame on your shoulders NOT the Perp's. A lot of us (for what ever reason) were vulnerable to the Perp's grooming.... It doesn't mean that we started it or that it was our fault. For crying out loud, we were only mixed up innocent kids taken advantage of.

Sounds like she did you a favor... She doesn't understand CSA.


There is a destiny that makes us brothers;
No one goes his way alone;
What we send into the lives of others,
comes back into our own. (Edwin Markham)

#227245 - 05/28/08 03:17 AM Re: Just my Luck, F@cking T Quit [Re: sabata]
Bewlayb1 Offline

Registered: 08/04/07
Posts: 243
Loc: NYC
We're trained by society and the media into believing that psychologists always have the right answers. People want to think that when we experience something as horrific as we have, all we need is a therapist to make us feel better again. People don't want to consider that this type of pain will never go away. They prefer the world to be clear-cut and fair.

Therapists can be just as stupid as everyone else. And, like everyone else, many therapists need to believe that traumatic things simply don't happen to good children. The truth frightens and disturbs them.

I've never had much success with therapy. I went through a similar betrayal, when I told a therapist at nineteen about my CSA and was disbelieved. Anyone who was abused knows that your therapist is a moron. Shrug it off. She's wrong. It's as simple as that.

#227250 - 05/28/08 03:35 AM Re: Just my Luck, F@cking T Quit [Re: sabata]
terpprm Offline

Registered: 06/15/07
Posts: 312
Loc: Clifton Park, New York
if it makes you feel any better, i will send you my 3 year old nephew who could "therapise" you better than that trickster!!!! sorry. i thought it was funny and would lighten the mood. but sad thing is, somehow i think there's more truth to that than we think.

My Story

#227262 - 05/28/08 06:23 AM Re: Just my Luck, F@cking T Quit [Re: terpprm]
blueshift Offline

Registered: 01/21/08
Posts: 1242
Loc: infinity
Hey, I totally agree with everyone here; that therapist needed to go! Just 'cause someone has somehow acquired a license to be a therapist doesn't mean they are up to the job. I've had an idiot or two myself. There are good Ts out there, but the sad thing is that you usually have to waist some time with the bad ones before you find out how bad they are.

Hang in there, man, and don't be afraid to fire your T as soon as you start feeling like they are full of it! I'm a believer in trusting your instincts when it comes to that kind of thing.

My Story
My Art

#227310 - 05/28/08 02:33 PM Re: Just my Luck, F@cking T Quit [Re: blueshift]
tazrad Offline

Registered: 04/22/08
Posts: 88
Yeah I should have walk out when she said she couldn't help. That would have saved me $25 and hearing that next comment.

I am just confused about the comment. I tried to forget it and dismiss it but I guess I need to talk about it more.

I just dont want to start over even through it has been only a few weeks.

Sorry for this. THAT FUCKING BITCH!!

Thanks everyone

#227314 - 05/28/08 02:52 PM Re: Just my Luck, F@cking T Quit [Re: tazrad]
JustScott Offline
Greeter Emeritus

Registered: 01/28/08
Posts: 2614
Loc: Central PA
I think her comment was completely and totally wrong and unfair man. It's like telling someone you have a secret and then walking away and not telling them anything. It was flat out cruel. She said she couldn't help you, but then threw something out there that somehow hinted she knew what your problem was, but wasn't going to tell you.

Frankly, she's full of crap. Truth is, she doesn't know at all. Probably has no education or understanding of survivor issues.

Yes, She was definitely a bitch. She should have just said she couldn't help you and left it at that, at worst. At best, she should have said she couldn't help you, and then offered a list of people that she has contact with that do have training in SA issues. The fact that she didn't, tells me that for her it's probably more about the money than helping people. If she really cared, she would have done some digging and at least tried to find someone who could help you.

#227316 - 05/28/08 03:13 PM Re: Just my Luck, F@cking T Quit [Re: sabata]
hogan_dawg Offline

Registered: 03/26/08
Posts: 492
Her reasoning makes no sense to me.

She's blaming the victim. God love her, the bitch.

My therapist just missed our 9 AM Wednesday appointment and it appears she is saying we never had a 9 AM Wednesday appointment (even though I asked specifically for a consistent and regular appointment time every week, Wednesday at 9 AM). If that's truly what she's saying, we certainly won't be having any more 9 AM Wednesday appointments, or any others.

Edited by hogan_dawg (05/28/08 03:16 PM)
I can say unequivocally that the lie of "To truly heal you must first forgive" has derailed more victims than the abusers themselves.
Andrew Vachs, 2003

#227333 - 05/28/08 04:52 PM Re: Just my Luck, F@cking T Quit [Re: hogan_dawg]
TJ jeff Offline

Registered: 08/07/04
Posts: 3560
Loc: Northern Wisconsin

Man - I'm really sorry it went so badly with her - it's very obvious to me from what she said that she has NO clue of how to work with male survivors of CSA (especialy considering the fact that she would'nt explain what she even meant by the comment) - I know it hurts right now - but i think in the long run it's a good thing that she told you up front that she thinks you should see someone else who may be better trained to help you - not all T's specialize in helping male CSA survivors - it really is best to find one who does if one is availiable - and it does sound to me as if she understood that she herself was not going to be the best T for you...

hope to catch up with you in chat soon...

Who will cry for the little boy? - I will... - Antwone Fisher

Abuse happens in silence/isolation - Recovery happens only when that silence/isolation is broken...

TJ's History

#228513 - 06/02/08 06:38 PM Re: Just my Luck, F@cking T Quit [Re: TJ jeff]
tazrad Offline

Registered: 04/22/08
Posts: 88
Well, after a week to think about it. I am still pissed.

My wife called her for an explanation.

Originally Posted By: email
She said “it seems as though your communication issues were around before the CSA and that maybe the CSA was made worse because you were not able to communicate to anyone about it”

The only think it can the T is a mind reader because after 1 one hour session she come up with that. I am glad she quit but it would have helped me more if I had fired her.

I am found another T. My first appointment is tomorrow. So, I am moving foward. Thanks to everyone.


Edited by tazrad (06/02/08 06:39 PM)

#228604 - 06/03/08 01:03 AM Re: Just my Luck, F@cking T Quit [Re: tazrad]
Ken Singer, LCSW Offline

Registered: 08/24/00
Posts: 5781
Loc: Lyons, CO USA
May well be that she was not comfortable with the subject and "fired" you. Don't take it personal. She just is not equipped to deal with the subject. Consider yourself lucky, especially if you get someone who is better versed in male victimization issues.

Bring your copy of "A Consumers Guide to Therapist Shopping" to reduce the liklihood of another who isn't well-versed in the subject.

Blissfully retired after 35 years treating sexual abuse

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