Newest Members
MLCaddy3842, mattevans, Arle30, SuAn, Tranquil
13562 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
Can-tex (48), cbchorn (44)
Who's Online
3 registered (house, 2 invisible), 53 Guests and 4 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
13,562 Registered Members
75 Forums
70,528 Topics
492,555 Posts

Most users ever online: 418 @ 07/02/12 11:29 AM
Page 2 of 2 < 1 2
Topic Options
#224282 - 05/15/08 03:37 AM Re: Time is running out *Vent Warning* [Re: hogan_dawg]
ericc Offline

Registered: 01/05/08
Posts: 1986

I wanted to post because I think I can relate a bit due to past experience and wanted to share a little of what I have learned.

First on the job front, I can only say that you should just put yourself out there and do what you can to find something more for yourself. Maybe in IT, or maybe not. But get out there and "fight" for something better. I only say this because I was in a position not too long ago were I was not happy and was struggling big time, but I kept marching forward and finally got an opportunity that has changed my life in many ways. I state this, because I want to link it to what I learned from my experience. When I was struggling financially and not working to my potential, I was pretty miserable. In fact, getting a better job can help your outlook, and the easing of the financial burden can help create a "space" where it is easier to work on the abuse issues (my experience at least). When I was at that place where I didn't see the light job wise, I was binge drinking like crazy and just struggling, but I did keep fighting. So I think you need to see this as something worth "fighting" for, because if you can improve your situation, it can have very positive effects on other areas of your life (the problems don't all magically disappear, but things can get easier as certain stressors lesson.

Whether to IT or not IT, is that the question? If you have skills there, try and leverage them. But they may also be transferable to other areas. I actually know quite a bit about computers, and they can be fun but also alienating (in my opinion) as well depending on the environment (I guess I sort picture you working in a small computer shop where, though you have customer interaction, your job may not be too social; that is my notion at least). It might actually be good for you to get around some more people where you are required to interact more. Maybe not, and I can't know for sure, but it might be worth thinking about. By the way, this doesn't preclude IT; in fact IT at a bigger company would entail much more interaction I think if my stereotype of the situation is somewhat correct. But anyway, no matter what you should put yourself out there. Try and get interviews. And no matter how much it seems like you can't get in anywhere, keep fighting and looking. It can be dang depressing looking for a job and getting rejected, but just keep your head up and understand it is part of the process. And learn from it all. Learn, learn, learn. And then learn some more.

About EMDR, I did about a half-dozen sessions a year or two ago. I probably could and should have done more, but I stopped at that. I really think it did help me. If you are interested in more details in regards to what my experience was with it, just ask. It helped, I am sure, but so did other lifestyle changes. So it isn't going to make everything go away, but for me it had an amazing ability to help me open my mind up to the memory process and lessen some trauma responses I was going through. I wouldn't mind doing it again.

Well, keep your head up and keep exploring options. And don't get discouraged by the process (finding a job can be hard; not always, but sometimes it take some effort and disappointment - but hang in there and keep at it).


#224291 - 05/15/08 04:31 AM Re: Time is running out *Vent Warning* [Re: ericc]
Hauser Offline

Registered: 11/12/05
Posts: 2963
Loc: United States
Great advice Eric!

Another thing to keep in mind is your local job market. I was living in Michigan and trying to land an IT position, ANY ENTRY-LEVEL position, even Geek Squad or Firedog. None of wanted me or needed anyone. (MI has an almost 8% unemployment rate, the worst in the country). I've recently moved out to Denver, CO and I've gotten 5 interviews in just 2 1/2 weeks. (I'm sure to get a job offer later this week with one of my upcoming interveiws). Go to where the jobs are if you can.

#225077 - 05/19/08 05:47 PM Re: Time is running out *Vent Warning* [Re: Hauser]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA

You already have a lot of good comments above, I'll just add a brief one to suggest, first of all, that you prioritize. Decide what's most important. For me that's dead easy: my recovery is most important. I need to work on that in order to be a happy man at peace with himself. If I can't have that, what do I need money for?

The other comment would be to stay practical but at the same time be prepared to think out of the box. I like Alan's advice to you to stay in IT, unless you are just totally fed up and feel you would be miserable if you continue. But if there are nop jobs where you are, why not consider moving? See another part of the country? I know that may sound daunting, but we're all in the global village now anyway. It's not difficult to stay in contact with people.

Much love,

Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

#226814 - 05/26/08 04:02 PM Re: Time is running out *Vent Warning* [Re: Hauser]
Trucker51 Offline

Registered: 05/21/08
Posts: 2826
Loc: Denver, CO

So you are another one that moved out of Michigan. I left there in November of 1982 after the 3rd of three different jobs that I had that year had gone bankrupt. It was kind of hard as I had lived my first 25 years there. I was born in Royal Oak and raised all across the NW suburbs. I still know many people there and an awful lot of them are hanging on the edge even as many of them are turning 50. My wife's family is there too. One brother-in-law was laid-off from a Dodge supplier that closed last year, another brother-in-law was laid-off from a truckline that went under, and another had to close down his small truckline. I've got a number of friends from my 10 years in Cleveland that are struggling too.

So, welcome to Denver. Hope that you quickly find a job. Fell free to ask me anything about Denver or Colorado.


"We stay here, we die here. We've got to keep moving". Trucker Mark

Page 2 of 2 < 1 2

Moderator:  ModTeam, TJ jeff 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.