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#227325 - 05/28/08 03:51 PM Re: Can you help him if he says he doesn't want he [Re: Lee73]
mara Offline
New Here

Registered: 04/01/08
Posts: 18
I would add that if you do decide to enter upon any type of relationship with this man, friend or girlfriend, that you let go of any attachment to a particular outcome, (eg. he will be well and we will love each other forever.) This will only lead to disappointment if it doesn't turn out the way you hoped.

#227328 - 05/28/08 04:27 PM Re: Can you help him if he says he doesn't want he [Re: mara]
Lee73 Offline

Registered: 05/26/08
Posts: 32
Thanks, Mara. I'm sure that's probably the most difficult part of all of this for me. Hopefully I will get there in time.

#227330 - 05/28/08 04:29 PM Re: Can you help him if he says he doesn't want help? [Re: Lee73]
rcm Offline

Registered: 08/24/07
Posts: 156
Loc: Boston, MA

The answer is no. And you will only make things worse for him and yourself if you insist.

Wishing you both the best,


Prince Zuko: [looking at a map] How am I going to find the Avatar? He is clearly a master of evasive maneuvering.
Sokka: [cut to him, looking at the same map] You have no idea where you're going, do you?

#227673 - 05/30/08 12:55 AM Re: Can you help him if he says he doesn't want help? [Re: rcm]
Lee73 Offline

Registered: 05/26/08
Posts: 32
Unfortunately, I think it's finally starting to sink in that there's nothing I can do to help or support him. I'm wondering if maybe he just thinks of me as a reminder of his abuse since I'm the only one who knows, and cutting me out of his life is easier than to be reminded of it. I e-mailed him today for the first time in weeks just to vent about my own issues at work, and he ignored my e-mail. I don't think I'll hear from him again \:\( Thanks to all for helping me to see that it's best that I move on with my life now. Hopefully he will heal someday and lead a happy life. Sad to let him go and feel so helpless, but I guess there isn't anything else I can do. Thx again.


#227675 - 05/30/08 12:58 AM Re: Can you help him if he says he doesn't want help? [Re: Lee73]
Trish4850 Offline
BoD Liaison Emeritus

Registered: 10/15/05
Posts: 3280
Loc: New Jersey
Yes there is - You can take care of you, the most important person is the one who looks back at your from the mirror. If she's not healthy, the house of cards will fall every time.

Be well Lee

ROCK ON.........Trish

If you fall down 10 times, Stand up 11.

#227841 - 05/30/08 06:08 PM Re: Can you help him if he says he doesn't want help? [Re: Trish4850]
Marissa Offline

Registered: 05/06/08
Posts: 69
Don't make assumptions, Lee.

You don't know why he didn't e-mail or whether or not you are a "reminder" of the abuse as you say.

Just take care of YOU - live your life and let the cards fall where they may.

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