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#226192 - 05/24/08 02:15 AM Re: Locked Out [Re: KR]
Liv2124 Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 08/02/06
Posts: 159
Loc: New Jersey
There are alot of things going on here, but in reading your post, I have to tell you that you have to step back and ground YOURSELF. If you are losing sleep and not functioning very well you will be of little help to anyone, including him.
I can't say that I've ever had to deal with the degree of paranoia that you describe your boyfriend as experiencing. I would be surprised if there weren't drugs involved, and I wish I had some type of advice to give you with regards to this, but I don't know how close he will allow you to get to him if he thinks you want to kill him. I'm much more familiar with what mogigo mentioned, situations that have triggered my SO to be "set ups" when they actually were harmless situations, or situations that made him uncomfortable for whatever reason. In those types of situations, we've done just what mogigo had done, excused ourselves from the situation entirely. In life we all have to pick our battles, if something made me so uncomfortable to the point where I couldn't relax, I'd get the hell out of there too.
You can give him space and move forward with your life. He knows where you are if he needs you. You can text him, email him, leave a voice message just as a reminder that you are thinking about him and that you care about him, but you can't lose yourself in all of this.
I can imagine how much it must hurt to think that he feels you might kill him, but you have to realize and keep in mind that these are not rational thoughts he is having. You have to know that it's nothing you have done to make him feel this way.
You said he won't listen to you, so when you talk to him again, try listening to him. Try to find out "where" he is exactly. If it were me, I'd refrain from telling him what this is doing to you because if he's as paranoid as you say, this won't penetrate. I think you'll feel better if you listen to him and maybe gently raise some questions to him about any alcohol or drugs he may be using, or why he feels the way he does right now.
I don't know if I've been any help to you, but I really feel for you right now.

#226286 - 05/24/08 11:51 AM Re: Locked Out [Re: KR]
GateKPR4 Offline

Registered: 10/29/07
Posts: 955
Loc: North Carolina, USA
Originally Posted By: KR
I went a little nutty, ended up in the hospital (long story)

This is the same thing that happened to me in my last relationship.
I think after that incident I'll stay single for a few years or a decade, until I learn more on healthy relationships.

I'm a normal person dealing with abnormal experiences.
The greatest discoveries we will find within ourselves.
|| || || || || || |

#227114 - 05/27/08 07:32 PM Re: Locked Out [Re: KR]
KR Offline
New Here

Registered: 10/26/07
Posts: 7
Well my friend called me up so apologize about accusing me of plotting his death. He confessed he use to get full of rage when he was 10 years old and that he is feeling those same feelings again. He has been having nightmares about being killed in his sleep and things just went from bad to worst. He is now talking about seeing a therapist. I told him that a therapist is exactly what he needs, I can listen to him but I am not educated and qualified to give him advice. But it sounds like he scared himself, he has never gone off the deep in with me before.

I am happy he is finally talking about seeing a therapist.

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