A walk in the rain is where I went last night.
I do so love the rain.
While I walked, feelings and emotions that are hard to get out lately came. Not like they should have, it was strained.
Strained while I walked,
all the while it rained.
Fresh air all around,
while my feet padded the wet ground.
So I ask. God, do you cry for me?
This broken boy of a man?
Is this how it's supposed to be?
Is there a reason?
Is this just another "season"?
Maybe there is no "why".
It hurt so much, I fight to cry.
As I walk I pass a beautiful dogwood tree.
I remember what you did for me.
Be quiet, Be still.
Even when I'm not moving, my mind is running, always filled.
I feel so broken. So shattered. So alone and battered.
Maybe there is no reason. No purpose.
Maybe it really is just all chaotic insanity.
Help me! Please fix it all, so I can be who I am meant to be.
Anger and Pain. Pain and Anger.
Neither of these have ever been a stranger.
I'm lost. Unable to even figure out how to make it all end.