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#223807 - 05/12/08 05:10 AM New--My sexual intimacy issues
jenny_mae Offline

Registered: 05/12/08
Posts: 1
I have known about my fiance's CSA for almost a year. We initially went to couples and individual counseling and the therapist told us he was handling it extremely well and we/he didn't need further counseling at that point. He still is handling it well, but I have really internalized his CSA and it is affecting me sexually.

Before he told me, I enjoyed sexual intimacy with him, but since his disclosure I have been unable to enjoy acts similar to those he experienced in his CSA. I think about what happened and imagine how I would have reacted, and in some way see our relations in the same light as those in his past.

He tells me he loves and desires me and would like to do those things, but he understands waiting for me to be ready again. I don't want this to continue to negatively affect our relationship in the future, and I especially don't want him to develop these same feelings towards our sexual intimacy.

We will be going to a counselor again starting next week, but I have been wondering if anyone else has experienced this problem and how they dealt with it (and thus found this website). It is especially difficult because I feel like this is affecting me worse than it is him, and it wasn't even my experience.

#223808 - 05/12/08 06:25 AM Re: New--My sexual intimacy issues [Re: jenny_mae]
LittleMissL Offline
New Here

Registered: 01/05/08
Posts: 42
I've once or twice caught myself questioning whether I should do something or try something new in the bedroom becuase I worry about wether it will bring back any reminders of his CSA. I usually deal with it my reminding myself that it was never a problem to try anything before we started dealing with his CSA.

Hopefully, if there is something that bothers him I would hope he would speak up to me about it.

I think you are on the right track by going back to therapy. Even though we may not have been a direct victim of the CSA, our lives are still affected by it. Hang in there and good luck with restarting therapy!


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