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#223852 - 05/12/08 02:09 PM Re: can't handle details.... [Re: rchsweetie]
Marissa Offline

Registered: 05/06/08
Posts: 69
Thanks for the advice, everyone.

I decided to take it on a case by case basis. Since it may be possible there will be no more new memories for awhile or EVER - I don't want to put any type of barrier there that would make him think he can't talk to me about it.

I think part of the problem is that he wants to rely on me for *everything*. Doesn't want to disclose info to a T or a friend - so it puts a lot of pressure on me. I'm hoping he will learn to trust our T - or a new one if he needs it - and go from there.

Time will tell....

#224240 - 05/14/08 09:01 PM Re: can't handle details.... [Re: rchsweetie]
mara Offline
New Here

Registered: 04/01/08
Posts: 18
I'm sorry for your dilemma. There is another side to this, maybe doesn't apply to you personally but I'm sure others here feel the same as me. My H says little or nothing to me about anything. We were married for 14 years before he diclosed the abuse and his sexually acting out with men during our marriage. He has said nothing else since about the sexual acting out, says it triggers him if I try to bring it up. He will only talk to his T and support group, not to me about anything. We are going to couples therapy but it is very slow going and the T is trained now to change the topic if my H doesn't want to talk about something. I occasionally get a couple of scraps of info. and feel great confusion most of the time. He gets angry and moody if I ask any questions so I have stopped. There is probably such a thing as too much information but there is also such a thing as too little. We all deal with extremes here, don't we. No happy medium.
Thanks for listening. My experience doesn't help your situation I know, Marissa, but I do think it is a good thing that he is including you in his healing.

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