There's so much I think needs to be said to you, but first, can you just look at the responses to your post for a second? Can you see how much you are admired and supported here? It's a great thing you are doing when you can talk about all those things that happened to you. None of it was your fault and we all know that. We also know that you might have trouble seeing that yourself, but we'll help you with that one.
As Roger says, you're going to be okay TJ. These troubles take time, but they don't last forever.
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me. (Woody Guthrie)