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#222146 - 05/02/08 06:05 PM couples counseling
Therese Offline
New Here

Registered: 11/23/07
Posts: 24
Could someone who has been in couples counseling tell me about their experience? My husband and I are looking into it, he's terrified and I'm a bit nervous to. What's it about, how does it work?

#222153 - 05/02/08 06:26 PM Re: couples counseling [Re: Therese]
Denniss Offline
New Here

Registered: 03/17/08
Posts: 25
Loc: California
I've been in it for about 6 months now...... very key to our success thus far... let me know if you want to discuss in detail....


#222173 - 05/02/08 07:07 PM Re: couples counseling [Re: Denniss]
honey girl Offline

Registered: 10/09/06
Posts: 245
Loc: Midwest US
Dear Therese,
That's a good question, and it's a good idea to get some commentary.
I can understand why your husband and you would be apprehensive. It's good to be a bit self-protective! So if something doesn't feel right to either one of you, I do encourage you to trust your instincts and look for someone else.
From my experience, I would say that a good couples counselor is not one to take sides, but will help you see each other's point of view. This does not mean that he or she will have no opinion--it means that s/he will encourage you to keep on talking until you yourselves can figure out what is going on between you.
A good couples counselor helps you recognize and affirm your strengths as a couple.
A good CC will help you articulate your complex and confusing feelings, without putting words in your mouth.
A good CC will help defuse tension so that you can actually talk peacefully and lovingly with each other. This may not happen immediately, however!
A good CC will give you reason to feel encouraged--at least unless and until you demonstrate conclusively that the relationship is beyond repair!
A good CC will help you get beyond your defenses (gently) and understand how you can safely be intimate with your partner--in all dimensions, including but not limited to physical.
That's where I would start. I am sure you'll hear more!
Good luck.

I'm just a poor wayfaring stranger, a million miles away from home.

#222181 - 05/02/08 08:01 PM Re: couples counseling [Re: honey girl]
chrty Offline
New Here

Registered: 04/13/08
Posts: 27
Loc: new york
My husband and I went to couples counseling for five years. It did not go well. MY husband would not tell the truth and If I told the truth it would be betraying him. It was difficult. What happened to us might not happen to you. I think My husband is not looking at it at all. i wish you well


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