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#221871 - 05/01/08 11:55 AM Re: Am I making a mistake? [Re: VLinvictus]
Cain Offline
New Here

Registered: 07/20/07
Posts: 1
Loc: Nebraska
What I learned through dealing with a lot of my issues is that I need to make myself happy before making others happy. I also learned that the relationships I chose were a reflection of abuse and neglect that I experienced as a child, and once I realized that I couldn't fix that by dating men like my father and my abuser, finding a way to make things right in the present - things that went wrong in the past.I'd not go and figure out a way to move on instead. Your cruise shold be happy for you and something that yuou want and will enjoy. It soen't sound liek you'd really have a good time. You also seem to know that this isn't the right thing to do. Give yourself permission to say no. His happiness is not your responsibility.

"Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere" Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

#221917 - 05/01/08 02:58 PM Re: Am I making a mistake? [Re: Cain]
VLinvictus Offline

Registered: 12/05/07
Posts: 273
Loc: NY
Thank you all for the responses. I admit this really is tough.

When I had the idea for a trip as his birthday gift, I knew our relationship was practically non-existant and had no future. Still, I like him and thought he deserved something special for his milestone birthday.

Things are rough now but progress is being made and there's still a lot of time left for further discussion. I am confident that this trip -- as an escape from all the stress and hell of home and work -- will be an opportunity for a new beginning, to enjoy each other's company (if we want to) in a new way.

There are worse things than a cruise to Bermuda...

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
~ Oscar Wilde

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