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#230774 - 06/13/08 10:10 PM Re: what do you want from your abuser. [Re: jcf1957]
FormerTexan Offline

Registered: 09/12/04
Posts: 12157
Loc: Denver, CO
#1 - one look at him today
#2 - her ear, already got it
#3 - his death, already happened

Money talks, but all it tells me is goodbye.

If I could meet myself as a boy...

#230780 - 06/13/08 10:59 PM Re: what do you want from your abuser. [Re: FormerTexan]
BJK Offline

Registered: 08/02/07
Posts: 1526
I just want to be left alone.

Revenge is nothing more than another way of perpetuating abuse.

What the world needs now
Is some new words of wisdom
Like la la la la la la la la la.
-David Lowery

Having a friend who will keep a secret for you is worthless compared to a friend who won't keep a secret from you.

#230784 - 06/13/08 11:24 PM Re: what do you want from your abuser. [Re: BJK]
AndyJB2005 Offline

Registered: 11/14/06
Posts: 1249
Loc: Minnesota
I want him to get better and do something good for the world for once.

Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words. -- Calvin (Calvin and Hobbes)

#230799 - 06/14/08 12:10 AM Re: what do you want from your abuser. [Re: BJK]
Trucker51 Offline

Registered: 05/21/08
Posts: 2826
Loc: Denver, CO
Let's see. I'll make a list: ****May Be Triggering****

1) Don't know them. They were maybe age 8-10 when I was age 5. I am worried that they were victims too.

2) Just found him. Senior partner at a respected investment firm in South Burlington, VT. I've thought a lot about it. At first I thought that maybe I would call him and ask a really loaded and highly sarcastic question. He was only age 6 or 7 when I was age 5. I realize that he was obviously a victim too. Maybe call and ask if he is doing OK.

3) Babysitter between my age 8 and 10. Have never found him despite knowing his first and last name. ([Name edited]age 17 or 18 in 1966.) His parents lived lakefront on south shore of Hammond Lake southwest of Pontiac, MI. At least he wasn't violent. My mother is withholding information, and has done so for at least 20 years. If I found him, and he had money, I might seek compensation and written apology.

4) Unknown older boys at summer camp at age 9. More fairly obvious younger victim-types. Don't know, what should be done? Maybe find out if they managed to resolve their problems?

5) Counselor at religious summer camp in Missouri at age 10/11. As many as a couple dozen victims that I know of in a 2-week camp session. He was in his mid- to late-20s. I recently solicited that summer camp twice for info on when I attended and asked to access an extensive photo database that would cover the two summers that I attended. They have been totally uncooperative. I don't know his name. Was just trying to find him or me in photos. Ths guy needs to go down. I wonder if they know and are protecting him. I attended there two summers, his abuse was only one summer, other less-invasive abuse happened there the other summer.

6) Cub Scout troop leader at my age 12 (1969/1970). He abused another boy or boys in a tent on a weekend campout. He was in his late 20s or 30s. Another guy who could have had multiple victims. Again, not much sympathy, but unknown name.

7) Next door neighbor was 14 or 15 when I was 12 or 13. Kid was victimized after father's death in late 1960s. He has a website where he claims to struggle with co-dependancy. I don't harbor nearly as much ill-will in his case. I knew him from age 8 to 18, and have seen him since then. Notice that I didn't give out his name. A telephone apology would work wonders for me.

8) Two-tour Vietnam Marine combat veteran. My age 12 to 14. Violent CSA and physical abuse. The guy (Name edited) owns a successful masonry business in NW lower Michigan, and is an active supporter at a nearby religious boarding school that he graduated from in 1968. I've tried to find other victims from my old neighborhood without success. Supports disabled adult daughter. He has denied my accusations when he found out in a roundabout way. Might be nice to get an apology and a financial settlement.

9) Violent alcoholic family man from rural Vermont at my age 16. Violent physical abuse, forced nudity, and molestation. (Mr. A________, lived on farm behind Gassetts, VT schoolhouse). All three of his sons have had drug and alcohol problems their whole lives, and two have done prison time. If he was still alive and the statute of limitations didn't preclude it I would have liked to see him prosecuted. Vermont State Patrol out of Chester Post bears some responsibility because they dismissed my accusations and allowed my abuser to abuse me further in February or March of 1974. I could see a huge lawsuit against the State of Vermont. For a long time I wanted to get even with him.

10) Unknown guy who picked me up hitchhiking when I was age 17. I favor caning if they can ever find him.

I know, the number of perps keeps growing.

11) My rapist. Violent rape and sexual torture at gunpoint just after turning age 18. I don't know his name, but have already identified his house (location edited). I favor execution after torture if he can be found, or minimum of major financial concession, written apology, and sexual-offender registration.

Is it odd that as I got older and the incidents got more violent that my hatred of my abusers becomes more and more aggressive? Most of my abusers when I was young I am concerned about. The more recent ones, I am up to really angry at. Is this unusual or somewhat normal? I don't know.

Trucker Mark

Edited by ModTeam (06/14/08 01:11 AM)
"We stay here, we die here. We've got to keep moving". Trucker Mark

#230810 - 06/14/08 01:12 AM Re: what do you want from your abuser. [Re: Trucker51]
istrong Offline

Registered: 03/20/07
Posts: 79
Loc: CT
I want jsut one look in her eyes, so she can see the unquenshible rage she helped ignite

"Go then, there are other worlds than these"
-John 'Jake' Chambers

I'd rather be above the grass than below it.

#231339 - 06/16/08 08:32 PM Re: what do you want from your abuser. [Re: ineffable]
michael banks Offline

Registered: 06/12/08
Posts: 1755
Loc: Mojave Desert, Ca
To know how he was hurt and why he chose to hurt so many others.

To own one's shadow is the highest moral act of a human.
-Robert Johnson-

"IT ought never be forgotten that the past is the parent of the future" John C. Calhoun

WOR Alumni Sequoia 2009

#231400 - 06/17/08 01:14 AM Re: what do you want from your abuser. [Re: michael banks]
Dude. Offline

Registered: 01/27/08
Posts: 106
Loc: USA
Do something about it!

I wanted my abuser to pay for what he did to me. So, I did something about!

This board is something else.


Edited by Dude. (06/17/08 01:17 AM)

#231409 - 06/17/08 02:32 AM Re: what do you want from your abuser. [Re: Dude.]
TNuss Offline

Registered: 02/28/06
Posts: 203
Loc: Del-A-Ware???
To know that I am a better person then they could ever hope to be.

All my best!!!

In harmony,
I hug myself daily until the day I find the embrace that completes me.

#231416 - 06/17/08 04:08 AM Re: what do you want from your abuser. [Re: jcf1957]
Nyjah Offline

Registered: 07/15/07
Posts: 610
Why did you choose me? Why did you start? Why did you stop? Why didn't you stop? Did you hurt any of my friends? Did you and your sick friends sit around talking about what you did to me and my cousin? WTF were you thinking?

Why did he have to die before I could have my time in court to stand up to him?

I want him in jail, I want him to pay.

#231417 - 06/17/08 04:09 AM Re: what do you want from your abuser. [Re: Nyjah]
Barkabus Offline

Registered: 05/09/08
Posts: 809
What do I want from my abusers? To be finally left alone!

My Story

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