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#220260 - 04/25/08 01:44 AM which side are you on?
theatrekid Offline

Registered: 06/03/07
Posts: 702
Loc: oregon

this story brings up a lot of questions about raising kids...

Ive been to New York many times i can say that i wouldn't let my fourth grader ride on the subway by himself just because of the mere size of it. But should kids get more independence than people give them in todays busy super scheduled world?

#220263 - 04/25/08 01:54 AM Re: which side are you on? [Re: theatrekid]
AndyJB2005 Offline

Registered: 11/14/06
Posts: 1249
Loc: Minnesota
Maybe not a 4th grader, but I think certainly a middle schooler could ride it alone. Depends where the subway is going I guess. The Bronx? Maybe not. *shrug*

I don't think the world is any more safer or dangerous than in days past. I just think we hear about it more often. But I wouldn't let my 4th grader go alone. Independences should have limits on ages maybe. *shrug*

Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words. -- Calvin (Calvin and Hobbes)

#220272 - 04/25/08 02:16 AM Re: which side are you on? [Re: AndyJB2005]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Well, I can tell you that in Europe kids ride their bikes for miles to get to school or take public transportation unaccompanied as a matter of routine. I see it every day. Fourth-graders? I'm not sure. That would be 10 years old, so I think so, yes. I've often seen kids that look that young getting onto my train to head in to the city center, and from the big rail stations they make their way to the subway to get one to the stop closest to their school. They have to get to the right platform and then make sure they get on the right train. It's no big drama for them.

Much love,

Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

#220291 - 04/25/08 03:08 AM Re: which side are you on? [Re: roadrunner]
Freedom49 Offline

Registered: 12/31/07
Posts: 2724
Loc: Washington State
I don't know TK with all the stuff in the news here in the north west about little girls and boys being picked up and disappearing I would not do it. Maybe I am overprotective but I am spooked by the news reports of disappearing kids. Carl can tell about Shawn and Ben I think it was just being grabbed and thrown in a van. I just think it depends on how street wise the kid is but not my kid.

#220297 - 04/25/08 03:46 AM Re: which side are you on? [Re: Freedom49]
Hauser Offline

Registered: 11/12/05
Posts: 2963
Loc: United States
I knew this story already.

The truth is that he is more likely to be killed in a car accident WITH his mom or dad driving while driving to the grocery store than being accosted or assaulted while out in public. Now, obviously, the chances of something "happening" are obviously greater on a subway in major city, but still.............I think you get my point.

But, it's not NECESSARY to leave a 9yo alone ANYWAY, so why do it?

#220307 - 04/25/08 04:52 AM Re: which side are you on? [Re: Hauser]
USFbull Offline

Registered: 03/30/08
Posts: 92
Loc: Florida
It is all based on one concept, and that is fear. Just watch the 6 0'clock news one night. "Peeping tom, out of control school bus drivers, and mother stabs her son" were the headlines tonight in Tampa (well actually a couple of days ago but anyways you get the point) You have to realistically research and analyze how much is fact and how much is fiction, and base your decision off of that. Regardless of that decision however, you should always prepare your children on "stranger danger" and the like, and talk to them about CSA, etc etc. Don't scare them, prepare them. I wish my parents would have.

Neither fear nor courage saves us.
Unnatural vices Are fathered by our heroism.
Virtues Are forced upon us by our impudent crimes.
These tears are shaken from
the wrath-bearing tree.
~T.S. Eliot~

#220314 - 04/25/08 05:29 AM Re: which side are you on? [Re: USFbull]
ak Offline

Registered: 01/10/04
Posts: 1491
I don't know. There is children on public transport by themself here, it is not uncommen. I guess it depend on the area, what amount of 'dangers' are commen there. But I am probably not best judge, since I was 1500km from my parents at age 11.


#220320 - 04/25/08 06:02 AM Re: which side are you on? [Re: ak]
Freedom49 Offline

Registered: 12/31/07
Posts: 2724
Loc: Washington State
Maybe I am overprotective but it just hits to close to home. USFBull is right about the fear thing. It is probably just fine for a 4th grader on the subway with a lot of people around. The kid just looks so small. Ugh.

#220407 - 04/25/08 04:38 PM Re: which side are you on? [Re: Freedom49]
TJ jeff Offline

Registered: 08/07/04
Posts: 3594
Loc: Northern Wisconsin

I grew up in a small rural farming town - I walked to school from Kindergarden on up till I started riding my bike (3 mile walk) - I was NEVER walked to school or supervised ever as I went around town for various things...

now - having just said that... - would "I" ever let my 9 y/o kid take a train at the subway by himself? - I highly doubt I would - not if there was any way I could possibly have someone older there with him - it's just a very much diffrent world today than it was when I was a kid...

Who will cry for the little boy? - I will... - Antwone Fisher

Abuse happens in silence/isolation - Recovery happens only when that silence/isolation is broken...

TJ's History

#220475 - 04/25/08 08:24 PM Re: which side are you on? [Re: TJ jeff]
reality2k4 Offline

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6845
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
An essential part of a childs' life is play, and adventure, without the need to think they can be hurt by others.
Unfortunately, parents are bombarded with the idea that their kids are not safe on the streets.

We owe a lot to the media, for making it look as if kids are more at risk than ever before of abuse or violence.
I know that NY is a dangerous place anyhow, just like any big city.

Kids need play, parents are too busy, etc.
I can only conclude that they may grow up, thinking that life is dangerous, which is something we all knew by experience, even if it was only perceived.

I sure miss the independence of feeling "care free",


MODS - Please do not delete or cansure posts/replies...... plz

Edited by reality2k4 (04/26/08 09:12 PM)
Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

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