I hate to admit this, but as many times as i might have an awareness that it's not worth giving in to the negative, sometimes i feel the same way- that it is simply brute survival instinct that keeps me from checking out. I know that these feelings aren't any more rational than wearing rose-colored glasses, but trying to stay in a reasonable middle ground seems awfully difficult, when my perspective (as well as others around me) seems so shift with whatever tide happens along. Sometimes i hate myself for making an effort, sometimes i hate myself for trying rather than succeeding... but the urge to give up hasn't yet won out over the urge to stick around to see might happen tomorrow, although it comes pretty damn close. Sorry for ranting, it's been a weird time for me lately.
Give sorrow words: the grief that does not speak
Whispers the o'er-fraught heart and bids it break.
-William Shakespeare, Macbeth, Act IV, Sc. III