I always read the newspapers too, and "Dear Abby" or her sister's "Ann Landers" self-help columns were something that I'd read even when I was a kid. Too many times they gave some off-hand comment subtily blaming the victim for being in a situation. I took this to heart, it just reinforced my feelings that if I just tried harder I could have overcome my situation and could have made him stop it. I was just a kid and took the words of adults as the way it was.

As children, we didn't control our lives; we were subject to manipulation and coercion; we believed what we were told by people that we looked up to or, in some instances, loved or feared.

This kind of trite 'one size fits all' advice still occurs only now it's on TV in the form of 'Dr. Phil' or even 'Jerry Springer'. Now I look at those shows and laugh at how single-mindedly idiotic they are.

Take good care of yourself,


I want to stay as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all kinds of things you can't see from the center.
Kurt Vonnegut (1922-2007)