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#218746 - 04/17/08 05:07 PM Overwhelmed w/Bad News
jacob77 Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 02/19/05
Posts: 37
Loc: Northern CA
Just called my Mom this morning to discover that my step-sister's friend committed suicide and my brother's daughter was admitted to the hospital for anorexia. My family is going thru so much and I feel so powerless to help them.


I am good enough.

#218761 - 04/17/08 05:50 PM Re: Overwhelmed w/Bad News [Re: jacob77]
VLinvictus Offline

Registered: 12/05/07
Posts: 273
Loc: NY
Hi, Jacob,

It's always rough when people we care about are having trouble. I know that I immediately feel that it's my job to make everything OK, that I'm somehow responsible for other people's feelings. It's frustrating, though, when I realize that often there's nothing I can do but simply be there to listen and let them know that I care.

I don't know how close you are to your step-sister and your brother, but they're both in a lot of pain right now. There really isn't anything that you can do to help them except let them know that you are there for them. Don't beat yourself up for not being able to work miracles and make everything OK. No one can do that and this will only add to the stress your family is going through. Just let both of them know how you feel and that you'd like to help if there's any way you can and leave it up to them if they need anything.

This is advice that has helped me, so I hope it helps you.

Hang in there,


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
~ Oscar Wilde

#218904 - 04/18/08 05:42 PM Re: Overwhelmed w/Bad News [Re: VLinvictus]
simonsurvives Offline

Registered: 03/17/08
Posts: 58
Loc: California, Fresno
Overwhelming situations can cause a lot of unneeded stress. Help your self and do not forget. In taking care of yourself you can help your family more then when you are not grounded. Good luck. Safe hugs.


#218910 - 04/18/08 06:15 PM Re: Overwhelmed w/Bad News [Re: simonsurvives]
NWcats Offline

Registered: 12/19/06
Posts: 70
Loc: Pacific Northwest
I've been going thru a lot of the same thing as my partner struggles with illness. Be sure to take care of yourself. Remember to breathe.

*** WOR Alumni Sequoia March 2008 ***
*** Alta Advanced Weekend September 2008 ***
Ask me about both!

#218918 - 04/18/08 07:02 PM Re: Overwhelmed w/Bad News [Re: jacob77]
Stephen_5 Offline
BoD Emeritus
Registered: 09/12/00
Posts: 667
Loc: Northern California Foothills

I can only reiterate what the others here have said.

You cannot control what others do, as much as you'd like to have that magical power. You can take care of yourself and tell them that you are there for them and that you care for them. You can reassure them that you love them.

Take good care of yourself,


I want to stay as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all kinds of things you can't see from the center.
Kurt Vonnegut (1922-2007)


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