The problem you talk about in your post is a really big one for many young survivors who were abused by a parent. After all, a guy needs and wants to have a loving Mom and Dad. He yearns for that and finds it difficult to accept the idea that one of his parents could do such a terrible thing as abuse him sexually. There's also the problem that a lot of times the boy accepts what his abusing parent is doing; he thinks this is what happens when your Mom or Dad loves you.
But then later on, as he gets older, he begins to see that in reality he was abused. That really hurts and he needs an explanation. One way out of this dilemma is to go back to the old idea that it wasn't abuse after all; Mom or Dad did love him, and this was how they expressed their love. But then this just bring up another difficulty: if the parent was just showing love and the boy accepted it, then isn't the boy somehow "responsible" for what happened?
The answer here, Aidan, is that you deserved to be special, loved and important without sex getting into the picture. The presents and affection were great, sure, but none of that meant you were obliged to give sex in exchange for them.
Perhaps even more important is this, my friend. You were a kid! You were too young to understand what was going on and what it meant. As the saying goes, "And abused child may comply, but that isn't consent." No one can give consent when they don't understand what is being done to them, or when the cost of refusing seems to be an unbearable price, such as the loss of love and affection.
So yes, Aidan, you may have felt special when your mother gave you presents and treated you as her special boy when she wanted sex from you, but it wasn't your job to see through this or understand that you were being used and mistreated.
You were not to blame, not in any way. Never.
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me. (Woody Guthrie)