I don't know who you are
I have never known
But, I talk to you here
I come here to see you
And I tell you everything
All about who I am and what I think and how bad I hurt
And even just come here to say I'm happy
And, when you don't answer, I hate you
You are somewhere out there in the vast nothingness
And I know you know I'm here
And you know I'm writing
And I want to scream at you: "Answer me, you son of a bitch!"
And sometimes you do, in human form
At least, I think it's you
Or maybe I'm just kidding myself.
Maybe I just want it to be you.
And I don't know who you are
Only that I need you so badly to want me
And to stop just watching me suffer and call out to you: "Come and get me. Don't leave me here. I need you."
Hate is born from fear, you know.
I wouldn't hate you if I didn't think you could help me
Could come for me
Could save me
Could make me safe in your arms
Are you God?
Is that who you are?
If you are, then what good are you if you don't ever answer
If you leave me here to face this on my own
You could at least hold my hand once in a while
I'll talk to you again
What or whoever you are
And I'll get mad at you again, I'm sure
But, I'm not really mad, not really
I'm just scared to death
And don't know what else to do.
I'm healing now, and I wasn't sure I would.