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#217805 - 04/13/08 04:23 PM identifying my anger
GateKPR4 Offline

Registered: 10/29/07
Posts: 955
Loc: North Carolina, USA
After reading another post this morning on anger I spent a few hours after getting angry for little things like the bacon was thick sliced not thin.

Then I look back and see that it was really about how close to home this post had hit.

I never showed anger at appropriate times and never acted upon it was always reaction to. This is something I am working on and I know now that many of my anger problems stemmed from the messed up childhood I had not really from what someone else did.
I am learning to direct my anger toward what it was that had caused it, abuse and neglect. I have a right to be angry about those things that caused so much pain and confusion in my life. Then I have to move on from there. Life is too shot to go around pissed off.

One incident stood out when I was 17 and with a girl we went to visit her friends at the school where she grew up all these girls were in the cafeteria when we went to their table and she introduced me to them. They were all nice and when my gf started laughing while talking to them I freaked out and stormed out of the room then punched a wall in frustration. I used to react like this all the time.

Now I can see it was from my first abuse where I was laughed at and my own insecurities as well as my fear of abandonment that fed the anger.

Edited by GateKPR4 (04/13/08 04:27 PM)
I'm a normal person dealing with abnormal experiences.
The greatest discoveries we will find within ourselves.
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#217821 - 04/13/08 06:36 PM Re: identifying my anger [Re: GateKPR4]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA

This is one of the most important things we learn in therapy. Once we are willing to admit and "own" our feelings, then we can drag them out into the light and examine them. So many times we discover, as in your case, that we were not so screwed up as we thought. These feelings are in almost all cases abuse issues - false ideas about ourselves that were stuck in our heads as boys by abuse and abusers.

Much love,

Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)


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