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#217586 - 04/12/08 06:47 PM The Trip...
JustScott Offline
Greeter Emeritus

Registered: 01/28/08
Posts: 2615
Loc: Central PA
Made it to NJ ok last night. Was insanely anxious, nervous, and worked up. Went to Target to get a few things we needed and I ended up blowing 94 bucks on other things to occupy my mind!!!

My sister and my friend Kevin (Same Kevin from my Letter to the one perp I posted awhile back) went to TGIFriday's for a bit. I was good, and even though I really really wanted a drink only had coke. So anyway. After a bunch of small talk I did finally share with him about my past. He was shocked, but then proceeded to ask all sorts of really really good questions. I think I might try to remember some of them and post them along with my answers. They were really well thought out questions, which most likely comes from his work as a reporter for a newspaper. So that was my night. Was a good night!

Got to my parents today around 10 or so. Chilled for awhile, small talk here and there. Lots of children running around, then right around 12 my sister started packing up the kids to take them to all see Nim's Island (I think that's how you spell it). So they left, and me and my wife and my parents sat there, continuing the small talk and chit chat, as I got more and more nervous. My father finally asked what was on my mind, seeing that I was off in space somewhere. So things went down.

I read my letter.

When I was done reading my letter I looked around and they both were just kinda in a state of shock I think. After a short moment or two, my mom came over and gave me a hug and said those motherly things that mothers say. Letting me know that she loves me, and if she had known she would have done something. Then I got up and went and gave my dad a hug (he's 87 and doesn't get around all that well, so it was far easier for me to get up than him). I sat next to him and he put his arm around me. I was a little boy again. Just sitting with my dad. My head resting on his chest while he held me. (Something I don't ever remember him doing in my life). He said much the same things my mom did. Adding that if he had known he would have broken a few necks. :-) Was good. After a bit my mom sat on my other side. I was sandwiched in the middle between my parents while we talked a bit. They asked questions here and there trying to figure some things out. They know there was more than one. Which is more than I initially planned to say. They also know that at least one was female.

All in all it went very very well. I think I feel more loved by my parents right now than I ever remembered feeling in my life. My mom recognizes that after my sisters death when I was 8 she was in quite a state of nothingness, just going through the motions of making sure our physical needs were met, but in her own grief missed our emotional needs. She's of course asking various questions as she of course feels responsible for not seeing things or not knowing.

Good trip. Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers and everything! It's wonderful to know that I have a family here as well. It's good for so many to make me feel so loved, and so safe.

Thank you all again!

If ya got any questions, feel free to fire away \:\)

Edited by JustScott (04/12/08 06:48 PM)

#217590 - 04/12/08 06:58 PM Re: The Trip... [Re: JustScott]
frost Offline

Registered: 03/15/07
Posts: 1377
Loc: Eh?

So glad it went well for you... hope the rest of the weekend fares as well as it has up till now...



#217602 - 04/12/08 08:06 PM Re: The Trip... [Re: frost]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA

Bravo! I'm so glad this went well for you. I'm sure your parents were shocked, and it sounds like you got the reaction that Little Scott needed.

Your comment about your Dad made me smile. When I told my Dad (also elderly), his first question was, "Is he still alive?" When I said no, his comment was, "There's number one checked of the list." \:\) Little Larry felt so protected.

Much love,

Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

#217609 - 04/12/08 08:42 PM Re: The Trip... [Re: roadrunner]
dannym Offline

Registered: 03/25/07
Posts: 543
Loc: Boulder, Colorado
Scott, Congratulations.

so glad your parents gave you what you needed. I told my parents several years ago and I experienced the same emotions - total love and protection.

Reading your post brought tears to my eyes - I'm sorry you went through what you did... I'm sorry they had to hear about their baby being hurt.. but I am so glad you have your family and their support.


"You should listen to your heart, and not the voices in your head."

Marge Simpson

#217625 - 04/12/08 09:53 PM Re: The Trip... [Re: dannym]
grover Offline

Registered: 05/29/07
Posts: 50
Loc: Tennessee
Yea Scott!!!!!!!!! Yea Parental units!!!!!! Yea wife!!!!!! Yea Sis!!!!!!

Shocking revelations, we are all deeply effected.
-the Waitresses "Wise up"

#217654 - 04/13/08 12:26 AM Re: The Trip... [Re: grover]
mogigo Offline

Registered: 04/25/07
Posts: 1331
Loc: Colorado
Great outcome Scott, I love it.

Tears of happiness for you



#217682 - 04/13/08 02:15 AM Re: The Trip... [Re: mogigo]
KENKEN Offline

Registered: 09/25/07
Posts: 762

I am so glad your outcome was so positive. I have yet to get the nerve to open up to my family about my CSA. I am so not wanting the outcome to be that of splitting up the family, But I really think that is what is going to happen.

But, again so happy for you.



From the Movie: Antwone Fisher


#217687 - 04/13/08 02:35 AM Re: The Trip... [Re: KENKEN]
dgoods Offline

Registered: 10/15/07
Posts: 622
Loc: Richmond area
I'm so happy for you!! I got choked up reading about it- maybe it doesn't change what happened to you, but just being able to tell, and feel safe and loved; i'm so glad you could do this before it was too late...

Give sorrow words: the grief that does not speak
Whispers the o'er-fraught heart and bids it break.

-William Shakespeare, Macbeth, Act IV, Sc. III

#217724 - 04/13/08 05:26 AM Re: The Trip... [Re: dgoods]
Magoo Offline

Registered: 04/04/08
Posts: 48
Loc: far, far away

I commend you for your bravery and courage, I know it tokk alot!
I'm happy you opened that door to freedom.

I have yet to do it. My parents are gone so I'm thinking about telling my kids.


#217737 - 04/13/08 07:24 AM Re: The Trip... [Re: Magoo]
USFbull Offline

Registered: 03/30/08
Posts: 92
Loc: Florida

Sorry sometimes I feel the need to be a typical college student. \:\)


Neither fear nor courage saves us.
Unnatural vices Are fathered by our heroism.
Virtues Are forced upon us by our impudent crimes.
These tears are shaken from
the wrath-bearing tree.
~T.S. Eliot~

#217756 - 04/13/08 12:41 PM Re: The Trip... [Re: USFbull]
hogan_dawg Offline

Registered: 03/26/08
Posts: 492
Nice posting. Good news.

I can say unequivocally that the lie of "To truly heal you must first forgive" has derailed more victims than the abusers themselves.
Andrew Vachs, 2003

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