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#216748 - 04/09/08 09:25 AM feeling guilty trying to help
trying2undrstnd Offline
New Here

Registered: 04/09/08
Posts: 1
my boyfriend is a male survivor, and he's spent most of his life dealing with what happened to him on his own. recently things that i feel he has repressed have been affecting our relationship, and i have been suggesting that he tries to find help for himself, and also for us. hes seeked out help one other time in the past, and it brought up many bad emotions for him without really helping, and he told me that it put him into a depression. i think he associates facing his past with those feelings now, which makes me hesitant on trying to help him help himself. i feel very guilty when i try to "help" him, because i don't want anything bad to happen to him. i love him so much, i just want him to live a life where he isn't afraid anymore. sometimes when i hear his opinions on getting help now- i almost get sucked into the hopelessness that carries across the conversation- i really don't think he believes that the male survivor aspect of his life will ever heal. is there anything i can do to show him that he's a beautiful person who deserves to rid himself of this anxiety?

#216750 - 04/09/08 10:14 AM Re: feeling guilty trying to help [Re: trying2undrstnd]
fanoflife Offline
New Here

Registered: 04/06/08
Posts: 6
Loc: Las Vegas
What I wish my boyfriend would have done is held my hand and assured me that he would be with me through thick and thin. We survivors need to work out the details on our own unfortunately, but with a team of support behind us. That's you! Peace.

I am a gay 40 year old male that is highly functional, but just came to terms with the fact that I was sexually abused at 5 and 8 and raped at 18. As a result, I have been acting out sexually ever since I can remember and just recently it ended a 3 year loving relationship.

#216976 - 04/10/08 02:28 AM Re: feeling guilty trying to help [Re: fanoflife]
Trish4850 Offline
BoD Liaison Emeritus

Registered: 10/15/05
Posts: 3280
Loc: New Jersey
trying2undrstd - check your pm box.

If you fall down 10 times, Stand up 11.


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