Thanks Mike and others for giving me permission. Here's the original post - I removed it because I thought it triggered people - plus I don't know what's acceptable here.
Thanks so much for being so supportive for me since I arrived on this site. I've found your comments and help useful for me because you're not afraid to speak your mind. I kind of need a bit of that help again, if you can swing it. Here's the problem.
Let me say I don't expect you to answer my question with a Yes or No, although you may freely do so if you wish. Instead, I just want you to help me brainstorm cause my brain is fried right now.
I've been scapegoated all my life within my family. My perp has destroyed my credibility gradually over time. I'm 46 he's 75. I don't know if he got to another family member but I suspect so, an older brother (with anger issues whoa big time), perhaps more but it's impossible to say and prove. I'm the crazy problem child and that fact is crystallized within our family - I'll not be able to change it, I predict.
I've contacted the authorities and they're willing to charge but they're giving me some breathing space. I've been gung ho about charging, but a talk with my wife last night, and some nagging old feelings of loyalty, are holding me back.
She says since DadPerp is mid 70s, blind, sadistic features in his abuse, wife says perp is probably not interested in sex (I say to her, well, he mentioned my sexual habits in a phone call some months back and was probably using that memory as stimulus for his own self pleasuring).
She says that without visual stimuli he won't re-offend and therefore isn't a danger. I say they can probably re-offend given sounds esp. if he gets off on the power, then sounds would suffice.
I also picture him in jail and it only saddens me. At this moment it gives me no happiness or pleasure to think of any person in jail taking the kind of stuff guards dish out. But if that's where he belongs I'm willing to do the right thing and come forth to the authorities.
He told me to say, when I was a toddler, that another person did such and such. So that's part of his modus operandi, to get the kid (me) to blame someone else. I never did blame someone else, but that's his tactic or approach. It confused me for years.
He used threats.
His grandchildren are female.
I'm cognizant that this may be one of the most important decisions of my life.
I'm at a loss. Regarding incest perps of this kind:
- What factors should I be considering?
- Any ethical / moral formula I can use?
- Any rule of thumb?
- Do they really stop offending?
- Re - his granddaughters - Might he have got to them? Do these people change preferred gender of their victims?
So far I've: Got a counselor and Googled the problem with no success yet. But talks in PM have helped immensely!
Would it work to get my bro(s) into a therapy session of some kind where this demon can be addressed? Or would that blow up? They both seem so angry. But they too scapegoat me.
PS: For reasons I can't go into here, I have limited time to resolve this matter.