Not sure I exactly get what you are saying here, but it sounds like you are trying to say that you are 'beating yourself up' over things because of patterns developed from childhood that have carried over into you current life situation. Just take care of yourself. Since a lot of things will take time to figure out, in the meantime do things to take care of your being and do not create further problems. Does that make sense? I know for me it is something I am working on. In particular drinking has been a problem for me (oh heck, I have quite a few!). I had a little slip-up Friday. You see, I can not make everything fixed at once, but while I am working to try and help make things better, I can make positive choices so I don't create new problems. You deserve to take good care of yourself and do things you need to do to make that happen. In the process of taking good care of yourself, you will learn good habits and see other options. Maybe this isn't what you were looking for, but you do deserve that none the less.
P.S. And what Roger says as well above. Sounds like you are having some negative perceptions of self that are the lies that get carried over from the past. I know them all too well. Keep working on them, and be will to challenge them and see what you might actual learn. Take care,
Edited by ericc (04/07/08 12:12 AM)