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#215562 - 04/05/08 12:17 PM what can be seen
nicky Offline

Registered: 08/24/07
Posts: 261
i wonder do they see the pain within his soul
do they see the broken heart of a child
i wonder do they see the hate and rage that he hides
do they see the sadness in his eyes
i wonder do they see the hurt and the fear
the anger and the hate
i wonder do they see him longing to be comforted
do they see him fight back the tears that he so desperately wants to cry
i wonder do they see the scars
that are hidden away and inside
do they see evrything he cannot show
i wonder do they see do they realy

i like the rain cause no one knows im crying

a strong man is one who is able to control himself when he is angry
what is your definiton of control?

i lay awake another hour
just like the one before
the shadows play a game with my head
i can't take this anymore

#215577 - 04/05/08 01:15 PM Re: what can be seen [Re: nicky]
Freedom49 Offline

Registered: 12/30/07
Posts: 2724
Loc: Washington State
I have read all your poems. I have felt all your pain and hurt and anger. It is good that you express it and make it real and look at it and share it. I have noticed inside your writings that there is a longing, almost hopeless longing to move from the pain to .... well you don't know what.

Pain and hurt is all you have ever known but I see that you sense that there is more and nicky I want to tell you there IS more. There are men who will love you for the wonderful boy, the courageous man that you are. You survived.

Your heart and your mind are still living in the past abuse. It is very painful and sad there but it is all you have known and the "other" that you sense, that possible world outside the pain is all unknown and scary too.

I want you to know that there is an outside of that painful world where you are accepted. Where you are loved for who you are and not just for what you are. I want you to know that you have REACHED me. You have touched my heart and I accept you just as you are.
You are wounded, but not dead.
Damaged but not beyond repair.
Hurt but not beyone healing.
Frightened but not beyond being safe.

Welcome to Male

your new friend,

Edited by Freedom49 (04/05/08 01:19 PM)

#216276 - 04/07/08 07:20 PM Re: what can be seen [Re: Freedom49]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA

I can only echo what Roger says with such honest and open compassion. I am so glad you found us.

Much love,

Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

#454907 - 11/23/13 08:01 PM Re: what can be seen [Re: nicky]
victor-victim Offline

Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 6373
Loc: 𝒪 𝒦anada

how often have i worried and wondered... "what can be seen" ?
i spent so many years, with that tiny voice in my head...
"do they know? can they tell?"

social doubts were an invisible wall between me and intimacy.
the world was like one big courtroom.
i was the accused.
i felt guilty facing a jury, so i decided i needed a change of venue. a new paradigm was required.

in my mind,
i left the trial, and hit the stage.
everything became entertainment.
society became scenery,
and when i was in the mood to act out, they became my audience.

the judges became nothing more than critics,
and it became easy to absorb their opinions.

thanks for sharing.

this poem made me contemplate.



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