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#216132 - 04/07/08 04:09 PM Re: Please [Re: VN]
markgreyblue Offline

Registered: 12/19/03
Posts: 5400
Loc: Pasadena, CA
This is incredibly well written for a non - native speaker.
You're a very talented writer VN.

The poem reminds me of another - I have it somewhere
it's called: "The Art of Listening."
It may also be online.

" not look outside yourself for the leader."
-wisdom of the hopi elders

"...the sign of a true leader is service..." - anonymous

#216286 - 04/07/08 11:34 PM Re: Please [Re: VN]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Very cool poem Visha, and so honest and right to the point. And your English is fine bro! I'm trying to imagine one of us writing anything like this in Russian!

Much love,

Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

#456984 - 12/18/13 09:06 AM Re: Please [Re: VN]
victor-victim Offline

Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 6387
Loc: 𝒪 𝒦anada
i love this.
i do judge you... worthy of love and respect.


#456992 - 12/18/13 02:33 PM Re: Please [Re: VN]
Shyshark Offline

Registered: 10/30/12
Posts: 971
Loc: Canada
As I read your poem ... which is very beautiful ... I was confused about to whom it was written ...
hoping that it was not about having been mistreated or betrayed by someone/someones here.
I'm glad you cleared that up.

Sadly ... it's often the person who wants to help the most that does the most damage.
Certainly they don't mean to ... but for many reasons ... they do.
More sadly ... this exists here in MS as well. You have to be careful here and to know
somebody a little before you start depending on them.
Almost everybody here wants to share for the benefit of the both of you ...
sometimes ... it's not a good fit.
Everywhere ... beware of someone who wants to 'save' you.
Only you can do that ... someone else can only help.

Your poem was extremely well written ... and very touching.
Don't ever worry about grammar and verb tenses and even just words.
Trust me ... we'll understand ... and if we are confused ... we'll ask for clarification.

This is not about how well you write the words ...
it's about how well you express your feelings.
When speaking heart to heart ... no language is necessary.

Keep writing.
Poetry is a safe and supportive place.

Experience is a brutal teacher.

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