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#214418 - 03/31/08 04:39 PM When

Registered: 08/12/07
Posts: 1298
i see you post your thoughts and your past
the post speaks to me about similar times in my past
i reach for the letters to type a reply
but i start to sweat and hands starting to shake
what will they think i cry
will they hate me for adding to the post
do they want me to post or be a silent member
reading and watching but never talking

the thoughts of fear inhabit my mind
leeching into my life
till anger builds and i reply with unstopped emotion

panic i have posted
what will they think
should i delete the post
do i have the right to post consumed with anger and loss

when will the walls come down
when will the defenders stop sensing danger
when will i trust myself to be open and out there

When will i say help i cant follow this path on my own
without a hand to guide me.


#214423 - 03/31/08 04:56 PM Re: When [Re: SEVEN ARROWS]
dancr6 Offline

Registered: 12/02/07
Posts: 383
Loc: georgia
My God! are we all that much alike?
Could we all write the same words as all the rest?
My mind exactly!!! Every word.

I'm a freeman now, his authority's dead
no pain monger lies in my comfortable bed!

#214446 - 03/31/08 07:02 PM Re: When [Re: dancr6]
dark empathy Offline

Registered: 11/26/07
Posts: 2552
Loc: durham, north england
This is the reason why I didn't post myself for several months.

What have I got to offer? what am I? what do all these people, ---- many of whome are coping so well with their recovery, ---- often from worst situations than I could possibly imagine want with me, pathetic, useless, worthless me and my fumbling words.

the only answer I've found, ---- which isn't really adequate, is that Ms is like a master and apprentice system of teaching, and the sooner I learn from the master's here just a litle, the sooner I can perhaps try and teach just a litle, ---- even though my teaching will probably just be noise.

And at least nobody here will call me a fool for knowing so litle and teaching so badly, and will recognize the fact that I'm at least trying to teach even if nobody can learn anything from me.

#216234 - 04/07/08 04:19 PM Re: When [Re: dark empathy]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA

I understand your question, but if you look I think you will see you are doing it now. Not without fear, of course, but it's a scary thing, isn't it? The point is that you're doing it.

Much love,

Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)


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