I am kind of piecing things together here, and may be missing a piece or two, so if I am wrong about any of this, please correct me. I don't like being critical at all of a site that I have got so much out of the past three months or so, but it seems to me as if a glaring problem is taking shape in what I have read on this so far.
Until I read this thread just now I was unaware that this same problem had occurred before. Well, so it did, and apparently a policy was put in place...which raises the question of why it happened again.
I'm taking another case as a clue here...the case of adult avatars which has no relation to this one other than the fact that it was a policy which got lost somehow and then was recently resurrected after folks like me had already been unknowingly violating it.
Is this same problem of not having the site policies (all of them) clearly stated in place on the site where they are not just easy to find but hard to miss? I completely agree with usmc that an important one like the one regarding how abuser/victims are to use the forum should be a front page item, or at least be something not easily over looked, wherever it appears.
In looking through the list of alternative resources for abuser/victims, I noticed that there is no discussion board for abuser/victims, and that is sad. Something like that could be a huge help for everyone, but I being in early stages of recovery from my most recent assault can only wish someone else could do it. Never the less, I can clearly see the need for a policy on this site to protect all concerned from what has happened twice now.
It would be wonderful if we who are just survivors could all be at such a stage where we could forgive and welcome abuser/victims into our community here, but that just isn't realistic. I may be out of line here because of not knowing all the facts, but it just seems like this is something that could happen yet a third time unless something is changed.
I have read enough of usmc's posts to know that what he has been through makes my own abuse experiences look like a walk in the park and I can completely understand his reaction to his inadvertently stumbling on to a confession.
Is something going to change, or is this going to be a recurring problem due to important site policies being viewed as something to bring up as needed rather than something to put forth for all to see at all times?