Things with my wife and marriage were coming down to the wire and I was graduating from college and my wife was getting ready to quit her job. While therapy did not help me cure my homosexuality it gave some clarity and courage. The clarity was that I didn’t know if there was even a chance for me to live any kind of heterosexual life and it might take me years to know the answer to that question, and I couldn’t promise my wife anything at the end of that process nor could I promise her much during the process. I knew I didn’t want her to stay with me under those circumstances. This gave me the courage to tell her what was going on. That was what therapy gave me. It didn’t give me a cure. It didn’t even give me the correct label for what was going on in my life. But it helped me to see the next step I needed to take and I took it. In May of 1986 I told my wife I was gay and three days later she moved out of our apartment.
That I hurt the woman I was married to is something I am very sorry for. I would never recommend for anyone struggling with homosexuality to enter into a heterosexual marriage without telling their spouse the truth. That was my gut instinct at the time and not following that instinct is one of the greatest regrets of my life.
That Tim as a Church Leader counseled me not to tell my wife about my past does not minimize my feelings of regret. But in hindsight it is easy to see that Tim would offer this counsel because Tim did not live his own life with this level of integrity so how could he recommend that I do it; he had made the same compromises with his own feelings and had not been honest about it. Besides I am sure an over riding factor in his counsel to not tell my wife, was that I might also tell my wife about my miraculous healing and Tim could not run the risk of someone else’s scrutiny of our behavior.
After my wife moved out we started the process of dissolving our marriage and canceling our temple sealing. I knew this process would involve going to the Stake President. I was not willing to go to my Bishop. He was too close to my ex-wife’s family and he was not a man I respected. And besides I intended to inform the Stake President about everything that had happened including the sexual aspects of my homosexual relationship with Tim.
Prior to the separation from my wife, while I was still trying desperately to get my homosexuality back under control, I contacted a group called Desert Stream. It was a Christian organization dedicated to changing homosexuals. I got their information and read their material. In that reading it said that being in love with another man whether or not it was sexual was a homosexual relationship nonetheless. At the time this was the last piece of information that I needed to admit to myself that my relationship with Tim Cook had been a homosexual relationship.
So In June of 1986 I went to talk to the Stake President and I explained to him that I had separated from my wife because of my struggles with homosexuality and I told him about my sexual relationship with Tim Cook. I did not go into details about this relationship. I felt too ashamed at that time I did not understand how seriously I had been manipulated by this sexual and ritualistic predator. So I simply told him we had been physical 2 or 3 times and affectionate a number of other times. I did not go into the rituals and all the things I have explained above.
We proceeded with my departure from the Mormon Church and my subsequent excommunication. I have no complaints about how this Stake President handled my leaving the Mormon Church. I fully expected to be excommunicated, but I did not know what course my life would follow after that. So the Stake President gave me a few months to get some clarity and we stayed in touch during that process. When I knew for sure I was going to leave the Mormon Church we proceeded with my church court. I did not attend. I did ask that Tim Cook not be allowed to attend my Church Court, since by then, he was a member of the High Council. I am assuming that request was honored.
Prior to my excommunication and shortly after I had gone to see the Stake President, he called Tim Cook in and talked to him concerning our behavior. Tim told him he could “not remember much” of what had transpired between us and Tim told the Stake President he “thought” we had orgasmed together once but wasn’t sure (this from a man who keeps extensive journals and a file on each of his important friends and is an Attorney at Law).
The Stake President told me about his meeting with Tim Cook in one of our subsequent meetings. He also told me that he was not going to take any action against Tim Cook because he had a family and the Stake President wanted to protect Tim’s family. He had asked me if I knew of anyone else Tim had done this with. I said I knew he was working with another young man but did not know the extent of their involvement. The Stake President also felt that since he was Tim’s boss at work and presided over him in the Mormon Church, that that would be enough to keep him in line.
The Stake President asked me what I thought of his solution and I told him I thought he would reap a whirlwind. I was sure I wasn’t the first and I suspected I wasn’t going to be the last. You do not come up with these kind of extensive rituals the first time you try this. And someone who has ritualized this much of their sexuality usually finds it impossible to stop. I mentioned this then and I am concerned now of the probability that he may have done similar rituals with his sons particularly as they got older, as well as many other young men and that it is still ongoing.
I did get another piece of information from a friend in my congregation after my ex-wife and I separated. He was a young man who had been out as a gay man and had been trying for years to come back to the Mormon Church. During one of our conversations after my wife left, Tim Cook’s name came up. He told about his helping Tim Cook on a church assignment and that after the church assignment was over Tim Cook had taken my friend to his office and while they were there Tim gave him a passionate French kiss. My friend pulled away and said, “what is going on!?” and Tim started to give him the brotherhood kiss spiel and my friend told Tim he was dangerous and left. He had been out as a gay man and knew what a fraud Tim was. I asked my friend if he would go to the Stake President and he said “No”; I left it at that.
Another thing I have to report is that after I had left the stake and the Mormon Church they put Tim Cook in charge of the 18-19 year old boys getting ready to go on a mission. I thought that was unconscionable; If the Stake President wanted to provide Tim with new victims I could not think of a better position inside the Mormon Church to place him in. When I heard of this I was stunned and I felt like all of what I had said about Tim to the Stake President had been discounted.
The next thing I heard was that Tim Cook and his family had moved to Northern California; so much for the Stake President idea that he would be able to keep an eye on Tim Cook.
This concludes my explanation of the sexual, spiritual and ritualistic abuse I received from Tim C. Cook from 1983 to 1986. I have explained some of the emotional and spiritual damage I and others suffered as a result of his manipulations and abuse. I have included examples of the Mormon Church’s unsuccessful and inadequate response to this situation. After years of personal work I have overcome the shame I felt as a result of being sexually and spiritually abused by this sexual predator and I have found my voice to speak out against sexual predators like Tim C. Cook. My hope is that with this more detailed account of Mr. Cook’s abusive behavior that you as leaders of the Mormon Church will take the necessary actions to protect your members from sexual predators like this man. But if you choose to take no action, I have provided you with enough information that you will not be able to claim you were unaware of this sexual predator in your midst when more of his victims start to come forward.
With Grave Concern,
I sent this letter to the Leaders of the Mormon Church on January 30th, 2008 as of this date I have had no response from them concerning this letter. I am aware that Mr. Timothy Chandler Cook is still prominent in his community and in the leadership of the Mormon Church where he actively continues to protect sexual predators like himself.
You can't save your Ass and your Face at the same time. (Anonymous)
And given the choice I will save my ass first everytime(STC)