Hmmm.... When you ask how do you fit in here, where do you mean? This board? Your city? You job? The world?
If smiling through it causes you torture then it's the wrong strategy. A Marine can be asked to sacrifice a hell of a lot for their duty, but no human being should ever be asked to sacrifice their happiness for anyone else. EVER. That's rule number one in my book.
Everyone gets hurt through the course of life. Anyone who counsels a method of healing that asks you to ignore or deny the pain, or worse yet, "let it go" is not giving good advice. The purpose of healing isn't to become invincible or invulnerable, the goal is to get to a place where the injuroes of the past can be relegated to the past and you can move forward in life unburdened by that dead weight. Smiling through pain is a recipe for disaster. Learning methods for properly confronting difficult and dangerous situations, finding the courage to maintain our boundaries and protect ourselves, and building the strength we need to stand up for what we believe in is what healing is all about. Anyone who tells you to otherwise, who tells you to "get over it" isn't doing anything to help you and should be kept at a distance.
"I am not a mechanism, an assembly of various sections.
And it is not because the mechanism is working wrongly, that I am ill.
I am ill because of wounds to the soul, to the deep emotional self...."
Healing D.H. Lawrence