Before I started dealing with my CSA issues I couldn't get emotional about my stuff. I was empathic and compassionate to other peoples problems but not to my own.
After I started dealing with my CSA issues I had never cried so much in my life as I did in those first couple of weeks of seeing a good therapist. I mourned the loss of what might have been; all the woulda, coulda, shoulda's. I came to understand that I deserved the same compassion as I had given others.
If you don't have a therapist look for one. Use the guides on the home page to look for one in your area. I tried to 'do it myself' for years and years but I didn't have the right tools. A good therapist will teach you the tools to deal with your grief. I think that I have become a much better person for having dealt with my past.
Take good care of yourself; you have a lot of supportive friends here.
I want to stay as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all kinds of things you can't see from the center.
Kurt Vonnegut (1922-2007)