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#211235 - 03/17/08 02:30 PM Here's my update... not good
imbroken Offline

Registered: 02/20/08
Posts: 40
Loc: NJ
So, after getting help from a thereapist, seeing a marriage counselor and working on my life, yesterday things took a very bad turn for the worse. While I was downstair, my wife sent me an email telling me that she wants a divorce. She can't help me anymore and she has too many difficulties dealing with the affair. So, she sent this email telling me that she cant deal with me anymore. She was very supportive and helpful for a month, but no longer.

I proceeded to go out, get very drunk and then trash the guest room in which I am staying. I can't deal with my life anymore. I tried getting better but I have no support. I have no friends. The only reason why I was dealing with me attack was because my wife was so supportive. Now I have nothing. Holidays alone. Birthday alone. Just me and my thoughts. I now am truly broken. I'm not fixable. I'm not curable. I am giving up fighting for my sanity.

in addition, i am about to lose my job. I work for a bank in a high pressure job and I am about to lose my job. Unfortunately, the prospects of finding another one in my industry are not good right now.

So, to sum it up-- I am alone. My wife is divorcing me. I have no friends. I have a drinking problem. The only person who was helping me get better doesn't want to anymore. I have an outstanding child support case with the woman I had an affair with. My wife will be filing papers soon for divorce and child support. My job is about to vaporize. I have nightmares of my attack still. I still have PTSD. I used to be successful. I used to be normal.

How am I doing?

Edited by imbroken (03/17/08 02:31 PM)

#211245 - 03/17/08 03:40 PM Re: Here's my update... not good [Re: imbroken]
Freedom49 Offline

Registered: 12/31/07
Posts: 2724
Loc: Washington State
Holy crap what a meltdown. I can certainly understand this feeling I have been there to back when I waa 31 yo. I thought aobut giving up and tried to a couple of times but time wore on and I made it through. My ex and i are on really good terms. I am re married and my kids still love me and call me. I went backrupt but was able to get a job and catch up the child support and eventually did ok. You can to believe it or not just hang in ther and keep breathing, Stop drinking your making it word by trying to cope that way. Get some rest and find a good T to talk to and a good lawyer. You will make it.
You will.
No listen to me I said you will make it.

#211246 - 03/17/08 03:53 PM Re: Here's my update... not good [Re: Freedom49]
imbroken Offline

Registered: 02/20/08
Posts: 40
Loc: NJ
she sent an email. doesnt want to help me anymore. cant do it alone.

#211274 - 03/17/08 07:26 PM Re: Here's my update... not good [Re: imbroken]
ericc Offline

Registered: 01/05/08
Posts: 1986
I am not going to say I have all the answers here for you.

But I know how things can be very difficult with this stuff. I know the drinking bit like the back of my hand, and I can tell you that getting rid of that coping mechanism can make dealing with the rest easier.

I can't relate to the other stuff as I never had a significant other, and only recently has my job situation been anything close to what I have been capable of.

But you need to keep reaching out and get past this space you are in. I know the space, because I have spent a lot of time there. Only since I have started reaching out has it gotten better. It sucks that people are not being supportive like they should. But at times like these, you can't let the inabilities of others get in your way of making things better for yourself. You didn't ask for or deserve what happened. And you are right I think in that you can't do it alone. I know I tried to make it all go away without the help of anyone else, but it didn't work for me.

But if you can't get the support from where you think it should come, reach out here as much as you need. Continue to see a therapist, and if who you are seeing isn't helping enough, find another. I know this isn't easy to understand when you are in a bad space, but it can get better. I can't say I know how you feel or what you are exactly going through, because we are all unique, but I can tell you I know what going through really crappy times are like and I know how trapped one can feel by them. Hang in there and let me know if there is anything I can do, or just keep reaching out here with whatever it is you are feeling or going through.


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