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#2099 - 06/11/05 09:37 AM My sister (Is some triggers)
VN Offline

Registered: 06/03/05
Posts: 723
Hello, I have the human translater tonight, so I will maybe not say that I have four eyes or some such thing.

My sister, she is 3 and half years older of me, she is visiting right now. We have had a very pleasant visit, I see her for few days few months ago, but she never have come here to visit before.

I wonder always, do she know of what our mother do? I know that she is quite distant from our father, and do not like him for how violent always he is with us. But I wonder if she know of our mother, what she do, and do she see it is wrong? She share room with me, until we both leave home, I know she most know of it happen. But never we talk of it.

I say something to her today, it is just off the hand comment, of something to do with something few years ago, a large fight of me and my father. And I ask her, Raisa, do you know what it was about? Because I can tell you. She say what is it. And I tell her what it is of, that he hate me because of my mother, say I am whore, something I do not want say here right now, but of something with her, and honest, I do think he try to kill me. And she look at me and say, well, I think that make more sense then what you tell everyone happen. Because of what happen, and there is police involved of it, and I am in hospital for some time, we tell them another story, because even then, to be so angry with him, I do not know, he is my father and I do not want him in jail. And also, I think I will have to tell them what cause it, of my mother.

Anyway, my sister, she ask me,do you want to speak more of it now, and I say no. She say ok. But she say, it is nothing you done wrong, and when you want to talk more on it, please do. I tell her, there is two friends here I talk with some. She say that is good. We stop speak of it then.

It is some relief, that she do not think I am sick and dirty. The dirty, that is worse feeling, isn't it? It keeps me from someone I care very much of right now. It keeps me from something I would feel more happy with now. But that is all right, tonight I am happy that my sister is still my sister. It is nice to have some sanity in the family.

My translater is growing tired, I guess it is time for bed now. Thank you.


#2100 - 06/11/05 10:28 AM Re: My sister (Is some triggers)
ScottyTodd Offline
Administrator Emeritus
Registered: 02/12/03
Posts: 1561
Loc: Pennsylvania
VN - Glad you had a very good visit with your sister. It seems you talked with her as much as you were comfortable. You were strong enough to bring up the subject of your parents - especially dad's hatred of you. It also seems she is there ready to talk with you about them. She also seems supportive toward you even assuring you "it wasn't your fault; you did nothing wrong". In time, when you are ready, you'll take the next step. I like that you are taking things one step at a time...controlling your situation. Thanks for posting!


If you think you can or you can't - you're right!.......anon
It's never too late to have a happy childhood!.....anon
You're very normal for the abnormal situation you've been through..............S. Todd

#2101 - 06/11/05 11:38 PM Re: My sister (Is some triggers)
FLRich Offline

Registered: 06/21/04
Posts: 1404

I think your sister is awesome! She gets it. She has probably been suspicious for a long time. At least now you know that you can talk to her regarding this issue. This has to be a big help to you.

I know plenty of the feelings of being dirty, filthy, and nasty. I used to take many showers during the day. My parents never knew why. They just thought I like to be clean. They didn't realize that I didn't think I could ever be clean, no matter how much I bathed. I was filthy in my mind. I still have thoughts at times, but I get over them quicker. You will get over them too, VN. As you said, your sister now knows and you feel cleaner.

I pray for your continued acceptance of yourself as the fine, good man that you are.

#2102 - 06/12/05 06:52 AM Re: My sister (Is some triggers)
Mike Church Offline
Moderator Emeritus
Registered: 01/23/03
Posts: 3439
Loc: Toronto, Canada
Vn you are not filthy or dirty and never were. You were used and lived in a terrible atmosphere. You have one truly great sister and your friends are awesome. Nice to get to know another brother here.



#2103 - 06/12/05 10:35 AM Re: My sister (Is some triggers)
Nathan LaChine Offline

Registered: 02/22/03
Posts: 5407
Loc: Washington State

That is good it is amazing how much love and support you can get from your friends and fmaily. Look that your sister knows of what happen and she still loves you and supports you. You are not dirty, filthy, bad, etc you are a good man. You are a loving caring man and will learn to deal with this shit in time. YOu will learn to let people tht you love in to your life.

lots of love, Nathan

#2104 - 06/12/05 05:08 PM Re: My sister (Is some triggers)
sophiesdad Offline

Registered: 04/30/05
Posts: 462
Loc: Florida

There is not much more that I can add to what the others have said. You have a caring sister who seems willing to listen when you are ready.

As an aside comment, the moderators check when links are posted on the forum and I don't think that I'm breaking any rules with this one.... If it would help with the language problem, there is a good website where you can type your message in your native language and it will translate it into English. You can also copy and paste our responses in English and have it translate to your language. I am sure that it is not perfect, but it may make things easier. The website is:


There are no unresolved issues - they just didn't resolve themselves the way we would have liked. "Grinder and Bandler - Neuro-Linguistic Programming"

#2105 - 06/12/05 08:49 PM Re: My sister (Is some triggers)
sabooka Offline

Registered: 05/19/05
Posts: 209
Loc: I would like to know also

I am happy for you that you felt comfortable to share with your sister what you did. I think it was difficult for you and congradulations for that.

Like the others said it is good that you are taking it at a step at a time.


My happiness is not dependant on other people's misery.

#2106 - 06/13/05 04:39 AM Re: My sister (Is some triggers)
dan_in_newengland Offline

Registered: 07/06/01
Posts: 162
Loc: Mass
Vn you are not filthy or dirty and never were. And you reached out, to two others, then to your sister ? It sounds like your on your way to healing. Welcome


#2107 - 06/14/05 06:16 AM Re: My sister (Is some triggers)
VN Offline

Registered: 06/03/05
Posts: 723
It has the same translator on a computer which I use, that you speak me, and I use it now so you see, whether speaks it, that I want. I think, that it should not tell, that I want to tell. It firmly some, my friends, they translate more for me, and it is better, than it, but not always - who - that capable to make it. I wish, that I could tell things here better, I try to study it. Thanks for patience to me. I thank you everything, that you speak. My sister, yes, she is very good person. I am the most successful to have her. Also it is some help, she does not attack me that happens before. I am confident, that we shall speak more about it. My thanks everyone who answers to me here and to help me and my friends also. It are good people which are here, I most of all regret about all here whom damaged also. Thank you to people which send me a private mail also. Good night.


#2108 - 06/15/05 09:24 PM Re: My sister (Is some triggers)
self_righting Offline

Registered: 03/01/05
Posts: 69
Loc: Tampa, FL

I think you should also be proud of yourself for bringing up the topic - even if it was an off-hand comment. You still put yourself out there - exposed yourself to vulnerability. You started to give away those secreats and take away their power. Congratulations! You are doing the hard work.



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