Yes, it all hurts like hell, and no doubt about it. But as we move forward we find that we are better able to cope with the memories - they can't hurt or harm us anymore, even though we still regret them and have the right to be angry about them. I don't know if this will help you, but I am far enough along to see where I am going and what I will get. I know I won't forget, and I no longer wish to forget; I have fought too hard for this to forget all I have achieved. What I get is peace, and that is what waits for you as well. Keep up the good fight.
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me. (Woody Guthrie)