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#20930 - 06/10/06 01:42 PM Re: Speaking out
VN Offline

Registered: 06/03/05
Posts: 723
I wish to say it, Thank you, here to all who respond. Of course, it is difference response here, then in 'real life' after this happen. Even now, it is some weeks after, and I am away of there, I still some regret I speak that. It is selfish, I know, you can tell to me that and I will say, yes, it is selfish, I am selfish. Because the responses of what I say, it hurt me much, and of course, my hurt, it is more importent then anything good that happen of speaking this. I do not mean that of course, but the hurt of much people who respond not so kind, it was very much, hard. My ex-girlfriend, who was mother of my child, call me 'pervert' and suggest that only I have child so I can do such things. Other people, some, they say things, think it funny or that I am gross. Still other people, they just not speak to me, or look at me, after this. Some children that I was teaching sport lessens to, their parents not want them near me. It is like to have the 'branding' on me, that I am sinner or leper.

But I will say. There is one person, he write note to me after this is shown, and send it to me through a friend. It say thank you, and that he have 'something happen' to him when he is child. He was able to speak his parents of it, and the person who do that, he never have to see him or spend time with him again. But of course, nothing is said to police, and that person, probable, they cause damage to other children. Because this is the shame of the child, still, that is how it still is seen. (mostly if the child is boy, then you are of course, gay, and pervert, and want this. It is of course impossible to sexual abuse a boy. We always want sex, yes? That is thinking of many people still). Anyway, this person say that even as it was 'only' something happen once, it done have affect to him for his life of course, even to now some. And he say thank you to speak on it, because he thought he is only boy this happen to, so that he must be bad or something. This is from adult person, who still have to feel such. It is sad, still, so much the 'blame' of what happen is to us.

Anyway, that was something. It was good to know that someone do not think bad on me for what happen 20 and more years ago, and for who I am now. Still, there is regret I speak it, because I think, I was not ready, to not care what people will think of me. But it is done, and we must do what seem best at that time, and live with it after. I am to try that now.

But I think part, I am cowerd, because I still hope that no one else I ever meet will have seen that.


#20931 - 06/10/06 05:20 PM Re: Speaking out
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA

I am so sorry the consequences have been so bad for you. It just goes to show how narrow and old-fashioned things are where you said this.

I know it hurts to be looked at as a pervert or gross or whatever. But the truth is that what you said NEEDED to be said. True, it isn't fair that you have paid such a heavy price, but what you did was very important. I hope knowing that fact will help you get past all this crap.

Much love,

Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

#20932 - 06/10/06 11:56 PM Re: Speaking out
Muldoon Offline

Registered: 05/30/02
Posts: 1428
Loc: St Paul MN
You are so brave for what you do. Your life has changed for ever because you spoke up. Someone has to be the 1st person to stand up and change the world around them. You are that person in your country,this is a great molment in our male survivors history.

Things may be hard now but I am sure that good will come of your brave act.

Teach the Children to Never Hide in the Silence

#20933 - 06/11/06 07:05 PM Re: Speaking out
John Oarc Offline

Registered: 02/10/06
Posts: 633
Loc: Louisiana
Visha, I know what you are saying in regards to not being ready to speak out, if the response would have been favorable it would have been different maybe, it is sad that others see us as strange, if they only knew what we live with ever day they would not feel that way. Now is an important time for you to surround yourself with supportive people, they can help you through this time in your life. Just remember that we are behind you and with you each and every one of us supporting you in our prayers.

Stay strong you have done nothing wrong, you have done something amazing, very courageous and unselfish. Things will get better and worse but no one can take away from what you have done to help other survivors by speaking out, no one.

Whatever It Takes, God

#20934 - 06/11/06 08:03 PM Re: Speaking out
WalkingSouth Offline

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 16270
Loc: Waldport, Oregon

I just want to echo what Larry, Tom, and John O, have said above. That must have been very hard and painful to experience and my heart goes out to you for that unfortunate way you were treated. Please treasure the fact that at least one person heard and was touched in a profound way by your courage in speaking out.

My prayer is that in your new location you can find a source of understanding and strength where you can be heard and believed.

Take good care, My Friend.

Lots of love,


"Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting 'Holy Shit! What a ride!'" ~Hunter S. Thompson

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