To be free is to know who I am, with all that is brokenness within me. It is to appreciate and love the moral principles and values of life that is necessary for the good of all people. To embrace them, and develope them. It is necessary for me to be anchored in a truth; but, to be open with others and so to change. True freedom lies in discovering that the truth is not a set of fixed certitudes, inevitabilities, or concrete self-assurances, but, a mystery I enter into one step at a time. By mystery I mean a manifestation of God's providence. It is a process of me going into an unfathomable reality. In this process of integrating my experience and moral values, and what I learn as I listen to other people, even if there are moments when I experience personal anguish. I need to find links between the old and the new; that will permit the integration of new conscious-expanding truths into what I already know and am struggling to live presently inside my existing certitudes.
As human sciences, and the world developes and my own spirituality evolves, I am called to grow into a new deeper understanding of the true " Source " of the universe and of life.
As I participate in this, my sense of the true expands.
True Freedom for me is to be in awe of this " Source ", of beauty, and diversity of people, and the universe. It is important for me to contemplate the height and breadth of all that is true. True freedom for me is to accept that I belong to a group, a race, a tribe, a family, a community, a religion; and to realize that none of these is perfect, that each has its limits, and weaknesses. Every community of humans has its light and darkness. As a human being, I believe we are part of something greater than ourselves. We flow from a " Source " that is unfathomable, and are all journeying towards it, carrying within us the light of truth and love. I am called to be in communion with the source and heart of the universe. The infinite yearning of my heart is calling me to be in communion with the " Infinite ". I can never be satisfied with the limited and the finite. I must be free to follow the Spirit of God. And this freedom is for love and compassion, to give my life more totally and freely to others. It is the freedom to be kind, thoughtful, considerate, tolerant, generous, forgiving, and patient.
This freedom I seek does not entertain personal honors; it believes all, bears all, and endures all. This freedom I seek does not judge or condemn, but understands and forgives. Freedom for me, is liberation from all those inner fears that makes me hide from people and reality. It is the humble acceptance that I do indeed have fears and inhibitions that restrain me from doing what I rightfully ought to do. This includes asking forgiveness of those whom I have hurt, and forgiving those who have hurt me.
There is a freedom I sense exist, but, that I do not have. I cannot always articulate the ineffable quality of this freedom, but, I do want it. I sense, I still have a long road to walk in order to reach this freedom I seek. I see the goal, but, I am not yet there. I love and want it, but, often-times I am frightened of the disappearance of my walls of defence, sensing that behind them, there is a past anguish and vulnerability that might paralyze me. I see that I still cling to what people think of me, and at times I am excessively-conscious of the way my family and friends love, want and admire me. However; If all that fell away, "Who would I Be" ? But, is that not where true freedom lies ?
The freedom to be rejected, if that is the path or destiny I am to take to live more fully. Is that not the freedom that Jesus spoke about in his charter of the Beatitudes, when He talks of the blessedness of those who are persecuted, or when He says; "Woe unto you when people speak well of you". I suppose in my own way I can relate to Nelson Mandala's words; I am not truly free if I am taking away someone else's freedom, just as surely as I am not free when my freedom is taken from me...To be truly
free is not merely to cast off ones chains of pain and suffering, but, to live in a way that respects and enhances the freedom of other people. I have walked the long road to freedom. I have tried not to falter. I have made many missteps along the way.
But, I have discovered the secret, that after climbing a great hill, one only finds that there are still many other hills to climb in life. I have taken moments in my life, to rest, to steal a surrounding view of the most beautiful meriting aspects and values about people and life. To look back on the distance I have come. But; I realize that I can rest only for a moment, for with true freedom comes responsibilities, and I must endeavor to use all my strength not to be hesitant or foolhardy, for my long road has not yet ended...............................................
My goal in life is to work with the suffering, the poor, the sick, the destitute, the heartbroken. To give something good of myself. To inspire hope and faith in a tactful way with those who have none. This is the setting I believe I would be happiest with the remainder of my life. To give of my time to others without expecting anything in return. Strangely; past experience has shown me that invariably you always get back more by serving other people, than what your capable of giving from your own heart.....Much Love Chris
No affliction nor temptation, no guilt nor power of sin, no wounded spirit nor terrified conscious should induce us to despair comfort from God.
Today well lived...makes every tomorrow a vision of Hope.