I am hoping to get some help and suggestions regarding my hopeless or helpless feeling at this time in my recovery.
I am now on med's and I feel so "out Of It", meaning I just feel like my recovery is on hold. I have little to no feelings or emotions regarding my CSA. I go through each day like nothing happened to me, like what did happen, I could care less about. Like why am I even going to group or seeing my T.
Before when I was not on med's, just a short time ago, I had major ups and downs, but at least I did feel My pain and emotions. When down, which was most of the time, I could read or meditate and feel I was healing from my CSA. If I was triggered I could cry, If triggered I could feel sad or get angry. Now My triggers mean nothing to me.
My intentions are not to be on med's the rest of my life so I can just cope with life. I want to resolve my feelings and emotions regarding my CSA and move on a stronger and healthier me.
I AM A GOOD PERSON, I AM A GOOD MAN
From the Movie: Antwone Fisher
***WOR ALUMNI SEQUOIA MARCH 2008***