Until MS recently, I've never gotten into chatting on-line. Not enough "bandwidth" (too slow). However, I've really found the chat is a great addition to posting here. It adds a kind of face-to-face feeling or something. It's immediate. However, there are a few difficulties:
Let's stop the "Hit and runs" people.
People make a provocative remark and leave suddenly. In therapy and groups, that's called a hit and run. Like, right at the end of group or therapy, you say you've decided not to come back. When there's no time to discuss it, so everyone leaves feeling unresolved. Very manipulative. So people, could we not do that? Or try???? It's ok with me to leave unannounced if you've not been part of the conversation at all or for a good while. And crashes do happen. Nothing we users can do about that. But, no pity trips or parting shots. "I'm just too fucked up to be here." And boom. [pityboy has left the lounge]. Or, "I'm just boring you. Nobody cares" Slam. I don't want to care if you're going to treat me that way.
Ask for time and what you need and want, ok? Really. Let's try to learn/teach how to take care of yourself.
So you're having a fun ol' time with your buds and someone comes in and says, "I just found out I was SA as a child." Or whatever. Maybe you've got this intense little chat going when 5 new people walk in. Could we try to use the Survivor Support room more for this? Stuff naturally gets started in the lounge, which is fine, but maybe when there's something "serious" subject wise that comes up, we could move it to the Survivor Support room? It just doesn't work to be joking around while someone is in melt down. And I don't want to rain on anyones parade, because that is a really good thing too. Or, let us know when you're in the middle of something that you don't want to have interrupted. Or organize a private chat. Ask or offer. "Would someone talk privately with me? I've got a issue, or a problem, or minor crisis, or a major crisis to work out" A little idea of what you have to deal with would help.
What's the treehouse for?
And the Friends and Family room.
I guess this is the place to move to when it's that sort of conversation. Rather-- I just read that F&F are strickly supposed to be in here. So perhaps we should do that.
Edited by LandOfShadow (02/21/08 06:33 PM)
Et par le pouvoir d’un mot Je recommence ma vie, Je suis né pour te connaître, Pour te nommer
And by the power of a single word I can begin my life again, I was born to know you, to name you