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#20649 - 05/19/03 01:35 AM Re: First T session ..... Help !!
The Dean Offline
Moderator Emeritus
Registered: 07/15/02
Posts: 2080
Loc: Milwaukee, WI
Hi Jack,

Glad to sing the praises of group therapy. This is really my favorite form of therapy. The reason is this, in group therapy you can learn about yourself, and even have some of your own questions answered as the group is talking to someone else. Everyone is asked if they need group time and the therapist is usally good at making sure that those who need to talk get the chance to.

I feel really secure in group. I kind of feel that, in a way, there are as many therapists in the room as there are group members. Many times another group member has said something that the official T said he/she had not thought of.

For it to work though groups need to be between six to eight members. Enough to learn from each other but not so many that people can't get the chance to talk when they need to.

BUT, it could well be that others hate it for their own reasons. It is like EMDR...I had heard about it and was really sceptical until I tried it and found it very helpful.
Give it a try--you can always say to heck with it.


If we do not live what we believe, then we will begin to believe what we live.

#20650 - 05/19/03 01:37 PM Re: First T session ..... Help !!
guy43 Offline

Registered: 11/17/02
Posts: 450
Loc: Minnesota
I've been in several groups over the years. Those that helped me the most were those that made me the most uncomfortable. Group can be a protected enviroment where insight into one's self, how one reacts to others, affectations and behavivors, can be pointed out and examined, sometimes in squirmy "I don't want to talk about it" detail.

Group can be a place to take chances, express and face one's fears, and practise new behaviors.


#20651 - 05/19/03 05:16 PM Re: First T session ..... Help !!
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
I've been in a group for a few months now, just 5 of us and a female therapist.

I love it, we seem to get so deep into each others issues at times. And with minimal interferance from the T we challenge each other.

And that works because we have different ways of dealing with different problems.
And if I listen to someone who has never acted out, but who's problems include alcoholism and sever self harm, giving me ideas as to why I do certain things - based on his experience then I listen - I listen hard.

Our stories are vastly different, but we know the pain - that we share. So I respect that and therefore I respect the guy's opinion. I might not agree in the end, but I give it more thought than I would had it come from a non survivor.
I don't think I have ever totaly discounted something or not learnt from what they say.

It's hard - I leave the group shell-shocked some times. When someone looks me in the eye and I know that he'll know if I'm bullshitting or holding back then it's hard.
But I also know that he knows my pain, so he's not doing it to torment me, just to free me from what I might hold back.

The support we share is wonderful, again because we KNOW how the other guys feel.

We allow contact out of the group, although we do have strict ground rules - that we jointly drew up.
In fact we're thinking of going for a country walk together sometime in the coming months.
The female group, who we've never met, went to the seaside for the day and played on the beach.
And before they went they considered asking us guys to join them !! ( we had only just started our group and it was too 'early' for us )
That's a hell of a level of trust for a group of women who were more than likely abused by men.

So I have to say groups can be a great thing.


Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

#20652 - 05/19/03 05:44 PM Re: First T session ..... Help !!
outis Offline

Registered: 02/27/03
Posts: 2261
Loc: Maryland USA
I might not agree in the end, but I give it more thought than I would had it come from a non survivor.

I know exactly where you're coming from on that. What I read here, or get from SIA, I know comes from the same "knowledge" that I wish I didn't have. I may not understand; I may not agree. But I try to give it an honest consideration.

That's a hell of a level of trust for a group of women who were more than likely abused by men.
I think that women survivors are sometimes shocked to realize there can be such a thing as male survivors. If they see the world in the kind of black and white terms I did (ok, still do, but I'm working on it), then I can understand their surprise. Heck, I steered my wife towards a female therapist for our counseling last year because I was afraid my history would come out, and I was afraid to want to work with a man.

You're right about their level of trust. They sound like a courageous bunch.



"Telemachos, your guest is no discredit to you. I wasted no time in stringing the bow, and I did not miss the mark. My strength is yet unbroken…"—The Odyssey, translated by W.H.D. Rouse

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