I have no feelings.
I do not know how to love.
I cannot cry.
I do not know who to be angry with.
There are very few childhood memory's, the one that comes to mind is when I was 4 or 5 years old my mom was having a Christmas part for her sisters, my aunts. Us kids where sent upstairs to to out of sight out of mind. My 2 older sister took me and my brother into a walk in closet and strip us naked. Then one of my sister want to suck me but I did not want her to, she did it any way. The she bit it so hard I started to bleed, I tried to escape but they held me back, I did break free. I ran through the house naked, bleeding. I ran into the living room where my mom and her 7 sister here. That is where my memory stops.
I am in counseling, and he said I need to walk through the pain and figure out who I an angry at. I have no feeling and I am trying to figure out who I am angry at.
This has effected my marriage and if we stay married it will only be by the grace of god.
I feel there is no hope.
That all for now.