My mom instilled in me a deep well grounded faith in god when I wa very young. She told me that no matter what situations I found my self in, where I was at, what I was doing or feeling, God was there. If I would open up and ask him he would help me no matter what.
I don't know if she knew what was going on with dad and me or not (probably not), but I have never forgotten that. Many things have happened to me over the years in my life that I could not control. It was at those moments of fear, dispaire, sadness and loss that I would remember and I would call. I can look back and truly say God has always anwered my call. Not always the way I would have thought he should but looking back I see his fingerprints so to speak all over my journey.
Upon returning to the chruch from my deepest darkest time of my journey I was happy to learn he was still there patiently waiting for me.
My earthly Father that god gave me to was not a good care taker and abused me. I grew up with a distorted view of what Fatherhood was all about and made some of my own mistakes with my children. Over the years I have learned what a Father should be from the Eternal Father. So when I read in the new testament that Jesus taught the men to pray "Our Father which is in Heaven..." I was curious and began to use that phrase also to begin my prayers.
I have been rewarded by an amazing feeling of love and acceptance and aproval that I have never felt from my own natural father though I longed for it all my life. Like the story of the prodigal son, My Eternal Father has waited for decades to receive me back home. I am comforted by that thought and reasurance more that words can tell here because at long last I have a father.