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#204463 - 02/10/08 03:35 AM Re: "People Pleasers" [Re: sabata]
sabata Offline

Registered: 08/08/06
Posts: 1950
please accept my appolgies-as i am not saying there is anything wrong with being a auto mechanic----------------just when you say mechanic-that is sucjh a brod sepectrom-----------------and i know i cant spell-------------------------

#204503 - 02/10/08 01:00 PM Re: "People Pleasers" *DELETED* [Re: Hauser]
awakening Offline

Registered: 01/01/08
Posts: 342
Post deleted by awakening

#204510 - 02/10/08 02:19 PM Re: "People Pleasers" [Re: awakening]
DanM Offline

Registered: 11/09/07
Posts: 540
Loc: So. California
Wow, it is like you took the thoughts right out of my head. I know exactly what you are feeling. I have also spent the majority of my life as a "People Pleaser". Everything I did was to make others happy. I always sacrificed what was good for me so I would make others happy. It was as if I didn't deserve to to be happy or worthy of fulfillment. I have tried to reverse this and take more control of my life. I know it can be done, since I have made some improvements. Hang in there, things will get better for all of us is we keep trying.


#204514 - 02/10/08 02:57 PM Re: "People Pleasers" [Re: DanM]
ineffable Offline

Registered: 02/07/08
Posts: 1371
Loc: state of holeecrapdood

"people pleasing"

isn't it about approval or feeling accepted or in control?

aren't most of our posts regardless of the "theme" wanting similar things?

including THIS thread?


:: "Anyone who can handle a needle convincingly can make us see a thread which is not there" ::

#204516 - 02/10/08 03:00 PM Re: "People Pleasers" [Re: ineffable]
sabata Offline

Registered: 08/08/06
Posts: 1950
it took me a long time to be able st say NO-------------and when i finally was able to say NO-----------it was a good feeling---------------that i could say NO--------------NO__NO__NO___NO_NO_NO_------------------that felt good--------------------thanks-------------------------steve

#206542 - 02/21/08 08:20 AM Re: "People Pleasers" [Re: sabata]
copenbay Offline

Registered: 09/03/07
Posts: 127

I agree with Awakening: the People-Pleaser route is very overrated, because anyone who works too hard at pleasing other people will probably also have an inner taskmaster who's never satisfied. I don't think my parents pushed me much to achieve. They didn't have to. I saw people around me who did better, and I became frustrated by my own lack of achievement.
Eventually, I finished college and have taken jobs that don't challenge me much since that time. But that doesn't stop me from hearing the voices from friends and family saying I should do better, have a better job, make more money, get married, whatever....
I may not have a lot of answers but I know I can't put time frames on anything I do any more. I may not do much right, but I will always do something right, enough to never give up.


#206639 - 02/21/08 11:44 PM Re: "People Pleasers" [Re: awakening]
endlessjourney Offline

Registered: 11/01/05
Posts: 518
Loc: Cincinnati Ohio
Originally Posted By: awakening
I abuse myself by working and keeping myself so busy that I stopped feeling - I became numb. I woke up one day and relized that while everyone around me may be 'pleased' by me, I wasn't. I have been letting down myself for most of my life. I became a human doing rather than a human being.

Yup. That was me. Usually most people would feel great when they got off work. "Ahh, a little R&R". For me, it was "ah sh-t! here comes the anxiety, depression, and lonliness that I put off feeling for the last 8 hours I spent working my butt off.... Time to go get a six pack. LOL". Since then, I have learned to stop and relax a bit more when at work. I feel much better at the end of the day.

Truth is the very reason we strive to live. It surrounds and resides within us. Accepting the truths we already know and seeking out those we do not is a direct path to inner balance and joy. For life is not a means to an end, but a journey. Life comes and goes but the truth will always live on.

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