when i was 18 i began my career as a hustler. a rent boy. a prostitute. a whore. there was no red tape now that i was legal. no more fake IDs. my career started the summer before senior year in high school. my parents had just kicked me out and because i was too ashamed to go to a friends house, i hit the streets for a while. it was easier than i thought to find guys willing to fuck me in exchange for a bed and a shower. i realized i was actually really good at it. its not that hard. its just about reading people. finding out what they want and becoming that someone. and i was young and cute so i used it to my advantage. when school started back up in the fall, i continued to support myself with sex even after i found a semi stable home. i would go to school during the day, and sleep around at night. there were weeks where i got like a total of 12 hours of sleep.

i got more and more into the scene and started working out of a club. (ironically a club that i couldn't even enter as a patron being under age) i would do the typical gogo boy thing.. dance on the bar for tips, parade around in my thong or booty shorts. the higher paying clients could require one on one time in the back room area. this usually was just a private show. lap dance. whatever. minimal touch. we were watched by cameras. they could then request us to accompany them home. we had the option of going to their place, or a prebooked hotel room.

the guys were ususally older, and all of them rich. a lot of them just wanted someone to talk to. they were all wildly busy and didn't have time for real relationships. hiring someone was easier and quicker. the phrase i kept hearing over and over from them all was "you're perfect." i know this is just something a horny guy rattles off. it was hard for me to cover up my imperfections when they were allowed free reign over my body. i felt like if my body could appear perfect, then they wouldn't know how imperfect i really am. i became this pseudo person. my function was to make them happy.

its weird looking back on it thinking about all the random guys i have been with, and hearing all their stories. ive met some really cool guys. a lot of not so cool guys. a lot of broken lonely guys. i dont know where i fit into all of them. i can put them all in categories. but i dont know where to put myself.

my career lasted up until i was 22 and then off and on for the last year until i was 23. when i first started, i would record everyone. who he was, how much, where i met him. i filled up a notebook and stopped. i counted them up once. by the time i turned 19, i had something like 415 people. i stopped recording.

Edited by ModTeam (02/09/08 01:28 AM)