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#202810 - 01/31/08 05:32 PM Fantasy
Bobby Offline

Registered: 12/01/04
Posts: 1287
Loc: Arizona
And then you set me out to sea alone
In a small boat
Where it is always night
And I can hear the water splashing softly on the hull
I put my hand into the water from time to time
To feel its coolness
And let some fall upon my face
Only to remember that it is salty and burns as it flows down
The loneliness
The stillness
Are at once comforting and disconcerting
So good to be alone
Not having to deal with eyes thought to be condemning
So hard to always feel unworthy
To feel less than what I should have been
The stillness and the starlight seem to wrap me in a sort of sweetness
Until I give in to the urge to scream to break the constant silence
The journey is a rough one
For the seas are never angry
Always placid
And there seems to be no reason for the agony I feel
And yet, some days I'd end it in a second
If I could summon up the courage not to dread a botched attempt
And some days I would dive into the coolness of the water
Sinking out of sight forever as my little boat sails on
But, in truth, I hope for happiness
Some shore of love
Some place where there's relief of memories
Of guilt for being who I am
A place where all of this could be washed off in some magical island stream
And I could end my days like some modern day Robinson
Sitting on the beach
Enjoying quietly and peacefully a beautiful amnesia
Until my days were past

I'm healing now, and I wasn't sure I would.

#202850 - 01/31/08 08:39 PM Re: Fantasy [Re: Bobby]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA

I don't think we ever get the amnesia, and after all the work you are doing do you really want to forget what it is you have really achieved? But I do think we get peace, that "shore of love" - beginning with love for ourselves - that you talk about.

Much love,

Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

#202989 - 02/01/08 08:15 AM Re: Fantasy [Re: roadrunner]
frost Offline

Registered: 03/15/07
Posts: 1377
Loc: Eh?
so peaceful yet so dark and lonely.

i hope you will find a shore of happiness to drift towards... and some refuge from the pain.

thanks for sharing


#203176 - 02/02/08 04:54 PM Re: Fantasy [Re: frost]
Freedom49 Offline

Registered: 12/31/07
Posts: 2724
Loc: Washington State
Ah Bobby,
Still wanting to run and hide. I don't blame you. So much ugliness. But your in the boat and the journey continues and who knows what shore you will find. I do believe the boat is being guided by an unseen hand. Let him steer. The shore awaits even if the amnesia is elusive.



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