I don't think it would be good for me to tell my whole story all in one sitting. Too overwhelming for me. Been there done that. So I thought I'd start with the first episode and go forward from there when I feel ready.
I was a little boy maybe five or six and was at a downtown bus station with my mother. I went into the restroom and had just got situated on the toilet when I noticed a golf ball size hole in the stall partition. I also noticed a man's eye on the other side of it. When the man peering at me on the other side saw that i noticed he stood up and stuck his penis through the hole.
I was scared and didn't understand this. What was I supposed to do? Why was he doing this? I ran out and, since I still needed to use a bathroom I ran into the women's restroom. I remember feeling like everything was wrong. I didn't belong in the women's restroom. A lady asked me why I wasn't in the men's restroom and I didn't know what to tell her.
This story is, in a way repeated later on. Only the hole in the partition becomes my butt hole and the ladies restroom that i go to for safety becomes support groups for survivors where i am the only male in attendance. It's hard to be a male survivor because you already feel like you have been femalized and then to go to support groups and be the only male just re-enforces that feeling.
And they tell you " You're not alone." but you still feel alone because you are different; you are a male. This is why I am so
glad i found this website. It's the first support group (of sorts) i have found that doesn't make me feel like i'm back in that ladies restroom. I mean, nothing against women; they can be supportive too, but to hear from other males who have been through what i have is more relief than i can express.
I nearly flipped out when the registration page kept telling me i couldn't register because of bugs in the system that kept making it think i had filled something out wrong when i hadn't. I persisted though, and after putting the same information on the same page a good fifteen or twenty time's i finally caught it in a good mood and made it in. Yay!