I have been in therapy for over a year now and I feel at present emotionally stable, but one thing is bothering me. I have never ever had a period of stability and in someways some contentment. I feel as if I have drawn a line in the sand saying "thats it....its all behind me....now its time to move on". I want to move on. Im rambling already what im trying to say is I FEEL GOOD and I dont particularly want to talk about my years of being abused by a group of men. I dont particularly want to talk about my past life style anymore which included chronic addictions, prostitution, homelessness, dysfunctional relationships with men and women with problems of their own, physical violence, court appearences, etc, etc. I dont want to sound ungrateful for all the help I have had over many many years and I dont feel ungrateful, thats what bothers me as I have been described in the past as being ungrateful in the "ungrateful little sod" label which my parents attached to me at will which seemed all the time, especially when i was presented with an electric razor on my 11th or 12th birthday, yes I was ungrateful as I had not started shaving at that point in time. I dont want to seem ungrateful to the guys in my home group....Im rambling so I will shut up.
And all that was left was hope